Wife announced she needs a break/space.
I have been extremely neglectful of romantic needs she has always had. I took her for granted and she did not feel important to me. I hate myself for blowing my true love dreams come true and for hurting my wife so badly she cant even be civil more than about 25% of the time.
Married 15 years most of which has been challenging outside of the house. AND NOW INSIDE AND ITS BRUTAL. NO EYE CONTACT. ZERO AFFECTION. JUST RAW ANGER AND HATE.
My wife always wants to be on the go and I am a home body since I travel all day for work and want to relax when I get home. I wanted her with me but she cant stand sitting still.
This does not work for her so she has made a life without me. She and my 14 year old daughter are always gone somewhere. She has stated she does not want to be home because I am there and she is happy except when she is home. She is tired of feeling bad so she does not come home until its time for bed or when she has nowhere else to go.
She has always wanted to stay busy.
Her income is very low and I have paid most of the bills over the years and now she feels STUCK with me. I think if she had money she would leave immediately.
She told her dad she thought it had been over for a long time. She told my parents she needs space to clear her head meaning she wants to move out with my daughter to another town near my daughters boyfriend.
I told her many times she spends all of her time with my daughter and there is no time set aside for us. She previously has said there was plenty of her to go around and that is absolutely not true. All of her time is spent on my daughter.
I have started the 180 and I feel good about that. I have started working out, being more tidy, organized and attentive without being a door mat.
The ice has yet to start melting. It appears it is getting thicker at the moment. I was on a trip for a few days for work hoping the space she wanted would help and came back to even more hostility.
While I was gone we did exchange several texts and talked a bit on the phone. She asked me a few times for some things like talking to the school on behalf of my daughter and the results were as wanted. She was very happy about this.
I told my wife I thought we should date again to get our romance going again and she stated she did not want to because she does not like me right now and would not want to spend time with someone she does not like. Then she asked me why would she want to do that.
This really sucks. I started making a list of all the things I do and do not like about my wife in order to try to be realistic instead of pining for a delusion.
As part of my 180 I am also making plans to get out of the house and do fun things. Its just that I am currently lost for hobbies since my rather unsuccessful business which my wife hates was my main interest for far too long.
These problems are huge but I still have realistic hope it could be worked out if she will let me in close enough to win her back.
At the moment though the hostilities are way to massive and she is totally unwilling to work on it.
This weekend will be especially hard because last weekend I misunderstood her that I was going to be going with her to the movies and she got upset that I would think that. She asked me what she did for me to think she would want me to be with her when she goes to the movies since that was not true an she wanted to make sure she did not do anything again to make me think she would want me to be with her.
To be fair, I am quite angry she is treating me so poorly but I do understand I treated her poorly for much longer and she stuck with it.
I am about 99% sure I have blown it but if there is a chance to get my wife back some day, that is what I want.
I finally know how important quality time and romance is to a marriage and I will not drop the ball again but I think its too little way too late.
I wish for someone to look forward to seeing me again. It felt so good to be loved by her but I did not return it and she has had enough.
All thoughts are welcome.
I have been extremely neglectful of romantic needs she has always had. I took her for granted and she did not feel important to me. I hate myself for blowing my true love dreams come true and for hurting my wife so badly she cant even be civil more than about 25% of the time.
Married 15 years most of which has been challenging outside of the house. AND NOW INSIDE AND ITS BRUTAL. NO EYE CONTACT. ZERO AFFECTION. JUST RAW ANGER AND HATE.
My wife always wants to be on the go and I am a home body since I travel all day for work and want to relax when I get home. I wanted her with me but she cant stand sitting still.
This does not work for her so she has made a life without me. She and my 14 year old daughter are always gone somewhere. She has stated she does not want to be home because I am there and she is happy except when she is home. She is tired of feeling bad so she does not come home until its time for bed or when she has nowhere else to go.
She has always wanted to stay busy.
Her income is very low and I have paid most of the bills over the years and now she feels STUCK with me. I think if she had money she would leave immediately.
She told her dad she thought it had been over for a long time. She told my parents she needs space to clear her head meaning she wants to move out with my daughter to another town near my daughters boyfriend.
I told her many times she spends all of her time with my daughter and there is no time set aside for us. She previously has said there was plenty of her to go around and that is absolutely not true. All of her time is spent on my daughter.
I have started the 180 and I feel good about that. I have started working out, being more tidy, organized and attentive without being a door mat.
The ice has yet to start melting. It appears it is getting thicker at the moment. I was on a trip for a few days for work hoping the space she wanted would help and came back to even more hostility.
While I was gone we did exchange several texts and talked a bit on the phone. She asked me a few times for some things like talking to the school on behalf of my daughter and the results were as wanted. She was very happy about this.
I told my wife I thought we should date again to get our romance going again and she stated she did not want to because she does not like me right now and would not want to spend time with someone she does not like. Then she asked me why would she want to do that.
This really sucks. I started making a list of all the things I do and do not like about my wife in order to try to be realistic instead of pining for a delusion.
As part of my 180 I am also making plans to get out of the house and do fun things. Its just that I am currently lost for hobbies since my rather unsuccessful business which my wife hates was my main interest for far too long.
These problems are huge but I still have realistic hope it could be worked out if she will let me in close enough to win her back.
At the moment though the hostilities are way to massive and she is totally unwilling to work on it.
This weekend will be especially hard because last weekend I misunderstood her that I was going to be going with her to the movies and she got upset that I would think that. She asked me what she did for me to think she would want me to be with her when she goes to the movies since that was not true an she wanted to make sure she did not do anything again to make me think she would want me to be with her.
To be fair, I am quite angry she is treating me so poorly but I do understand I treated her poorly for much longer and she stuck with it.
I am about 99% sure I have blown it but if there is a chance to get my wife back some day, that is what I want.
I finally know how important quality time and romance is to a marriage and I will not drop the ball again but I think its too little way too late.
I wish for someone to look forward to seeing me again. It felt so good to be loved by her but I did not return it and she has had enough.
All thoughts are welcome.
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