Hey everyone, thanks for reading :)
So I feel like a wreck and I wish it would stop, I don't know how to fix this.
I recently went to a get together with my ex-boyfriend and mutual friends (I have spent a lot of time with them all, but they're closer friends than me. We all lived in uni together for a long time.)
My ex invited me and I said I wasn't sure if I should come in case it's awkward with his new girlfriend and he said she wasn't coming, please don't worry. Please come, it would be awesome to see you etc.
I came and he was really off, wouldn't talk to me hardly at all…very confusing! So I chatted to the to the other who were lovely to me. There was one guy who I knew from before who said his gf had dumped him three days ago and was clearly taking it hard.
As the night went on he became progressively very demanding that I dance with him, flirt with him, eventually demanding I kiss him because 'why wouldn't I I'm single and there's no reason why I shouldn't?'
It got to the point where I was flabbergasted and physically pushing off this guy!! What a dick! I took him to get some water and chill out but it didn't help. When I came back, my ex's new girlfriend had turned up and looked a little fragile that I was there. Felt bad for her and wished so badly I hadn't come.
The combination of these events made me very shaky and I sat outside on the phone to a friend for a while lamenting that I'd come! They made me feel better and told me to just chin up and carry on so I thought I'd go back and try to relax and enjoy myself.
I started chatting to another guy who I thought I knew quite well, but he came straight out and asked why I was there and hanging out with my exes, that I shouldn't be speaking to him on the phone and what the **** was wrong with me for hanging around and not moving on. At this point I was so confused I nearly broke down. I'd just been through a totally separate very traumatic break up myself and this while debacle has got me in floods of tears at this point.
I excused myself and sat on the floor outside talking to friends at 2am (thank god I have wonderful friends) crying my eyes out and everyone who saw me just looked embarrassed at me. I asked the advice of a girl there and she said, 'pull yourself together. what are you doing here? you shouldn't really be here.' and I just couldn't do anything but sob. The person who invited me flat out wouldn't even look at me at this stage and was all over his gf. I went to bed at 3am and tried to sleep, to get away, but they all rocked into the bedroom screaming and I didn't sleep all night.
I feel like I can't ever spend time with these people again, I'm so embarrassed about the night. I spent the whole time in tears and looked a wreck and pretty crazy emotional.
I spoke to my ex as I left and said it wasn't fair for him to fawn over and invite me, asking me to come several times, then ignore me, and deliberately mislead me about his new gf being there, and then tell our friends and even his family when they came next day that I was a bit crazy and he shouldn't have invited me (he didn't speak too quietly!)
I feel like my image at this point is rock bottom! I wish I could have held it together better! I wish I hadn't made such a scene and I wish I could make it better.
Has this kind of thing happened to you? Did you make a huge scene? Did it ever get better?
I would really appreciate any advice you have, seriously, I wish I could undo all this so badly. Thank you.
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