So for the past few months I've been feeling depressed, I got clinically diagnosed about 2 months ago but didn't go back to the doctor because I'm scared. Nobody knows about this other than a close friend of mine (who I had a thing with for a bit, not sure if this is relevant) but we are still on very good terms. She's the only one that I can speak to and listen to me when it gets difficult for me.
I'm always frustrated and angry with myself for feeling like this, I feed on edge all the time. And small trivial things just set me off. Yesterday I got in an argument with her over splitting some change after buying something. I acted like a dick. I'm currently at home from uni because I just needed some time to get away from university and clear my head. I left yesterday evening but the argument is still on my mind. I've text her to apologise and she doesn't really talk on the phone.
The guilt I'm currently experiencing is driving me crazy. I know I shouldn't have acted in the way I did, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm kicking myself because I might have drove away the only person I know that helps me feel better and listens to me.
I feel more alone than ever, empty inside, guilt and just generally terrible.
What do I do?
Help me please.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment