Hello TAM. I'm putting together a blog post about how a sexless relationship affects the HD partner. If you are the HD in a long term (two years or more) sexless marriage or relationship, feel free to answer some or all of the questions below for my informal survey. I'm going to collect answers and then make two blog posts, one from mens answers and one from womens. If I use any part of your answer, all I will say is "female, age XX" or "male, age XX" as your identification. If you do not want to answer here, you can fill out this anonymous Survey Monkey form:
http://ift.tt/Z3G7vc
You do not need to answer all the questions, just any of them you want to share about. You can also answer the survey about past sexless relationships if you have been one in but are not in anymore.
I am only considering long term relationships for this post at this time, because it is known that in the short term, relationships are more sexual than they probably will be in the long term, so in most short term relationships, it is not known yet where the sexual level will settle to.
Later I hope to do a survey for the LD partners in sexless relationships.
For my survey, sexless = sex less than once a month.
__________________________________________________
*What is your gender and age?
*How many sex partners have you had? Do you know how many sex partners your current partner has had?
*Where do you think you land on my Sexual Proclivity Scale, and where do you think your partner lands on it? (you can find my Sexual Proclivity scale at the top of this blog post):
I Married a Sex God: How Sexual Are You?
*If there is a mismatch between the proclivity level of you and your partner in the answer above, do you feel this is part of the problem in your sexual relationship?
*How long have you been in this relationship, and how long has it been sexless? (If you are taking the survey because you used to be in a sexless relationship, please answer accordingly including how long the relationship lasted).
*If it wasn't always sexless, do you know if there was an event or reason that made the relationship become sexless, and did it change all at once or slowly?
*Describe how being sexless makes you feel, physically and emotionally. Describe how it affects your life, whether positive or negative or neutral.
*Are you currently physically attracted to your partner? Are they physically attracted to you?
*Do you talk to anyone about the sexlessness; friends, relatives, a counselor?
*How concerned are you that this relationship will end because of the sexlessness? (Or if it did already end, was it primarily because of the sexlessness?)
*Conversely, if you would not contemplate ending the relationship, why not?
*If sexlessness is a problem to you, do you think becoming non-monogamous would be a possible way to deal with it?
*Have you had other long term relationships (two years or longer) that were also sexless? If yes, please describe the relationship and length of it.
*Have you had other long term relationships (two years or longer) that were more sexually fulfilling to you than this one? If yes, please describe the relationship and the length of it.
*How do you feel about the quality of the sex you do have (or used to have) with this partner? Do you feel you are a good sex partner, and do you feel your partner is one?
*How do you think your life might change if you were able to have all the sex you want and could always have the quality of sex you want? (Assume for this exercise that you may or may not have the same sex partner as you do now).
*Are you in love with your partner? Do you feel your partner is in love with you? Does your answer have a correlation to the sexlessness issue in your relationship?
*Would you say that you or your partner have shame surrounding sex and sexuality? Would you say that either of you are sexually repressed?
*If the answer above is yes for either of you, do you think shame or repression are affecting or creating the sexlessness in your relationship?
*Did you or your partner suffer any form of sexual trauma or abuse that you know of? If yes, did you or your partner receive professional help in dealing with it? If yes, do you think this affects the sexual relationship you are in together?
*Do you or your partner have any sexual dysfunction or disability (either mental or physical)?
*Do you and your partner know much about each other's sexual histories (beyond number of partners)?
*Is there anything else you would like to note that is not covered in one of the questions above?
http://ift.tt/Z3G7vc
You do not need to answer all the questions, just any of them you want to share about. You can also answer the survey about past sexless relationships if you have been one in but are not in anymore.
I am only considering long term relationships for this post at this time, because it is known that in the short term, relationships are more sexual than they probably will be in the long term, so in most short term relationships, it is not known yet where the sexual level will settle to.
Later I hope to do a survey for the LD partners in sexless relationships.
For my survey, sexless = sex less than once a month.
__________________________________________________
*What is your gender and age?
*How many sex partners have you had? Do you know how many sex partners your current partner has had?
*Where do you think you land on my Sexual Proclivity Scale, and where do you think your partner lands on it? (you can find my Sexual Proclivity scale at the top of this blog post):
I Married a Sex God: How Sexual Are You?
*If there is a mismatch between the proclivity level of you and your partner in the answer above, do you feel this is part of the problem in your sexual relationship?
*How long have you been in this relationship, and how long has it been sexless? (If you are taking the survey because you used to be in a sexless relationship, please answer accordingly including how long the relationship lasted).
*If it wasn't always sexless, do you know if there was an event or reason that made the relationship become sexless, and did it change all at once or slowly?
*Describe how being sexless makes you feel, physically and emotionally. Describe how it affects your life, whether positive or negative or neutral.
*Are you currently physically attracted to your partner? Are they physically attracted to you?
*Do you talk to anyone about the sexlessness; friends, relatives, a counselor?
*How concerned are you that this relationship will end because of the sexlessness? (Or if it did already end, was it primarily because of the sexlessness?)
*Conversely, if you would not contemplate ending the relationship, why not?
*If sexlessness is a problem to you, do you think becoming non-monogamous would be a possible way to deal with it?
*Have you had other long term relationships (two years or longer) that were also sexless? If yes, please describe the relationship and length of it.
*Have you had other long term relationships (two years or longer) that were more sexually fulfilling to you than this one? If yes, please describe the relationship and the length of it.
*How do you feel about the quality of the sex you do have (or used to have) with this partner? Do you feel you are a good sex partner, and do you feel your partner is one?
*How do you think your life might change if you were able to have all the sex you want and could always have the quality of sex you want? (Assume for this exercise that you may or may not have the same sex partner as you do now).
*Are you in love with your partner? Do you feel your partner is in love with you? Does your answer have a correlation to the sexlessness issue in your relationship?
*Would you say that you or your partner have shame surrounding sex and sexuality? Would you say that either of you are sexually repressed?
*If the answer above is yes for either of you, do you think shame or repression are affecting or creating the sexlessness in your relationship?
*Did you or your partner suffer any form of sexual trauma or abuse that you know of? If yes, did you or your partner receive professional help in dealing with it? If yes, do you think this affects the sexual relationship you are in together?
*Do you or your partner have any sexual dysfunction or disability (either mental or physical)?
*Do you and your partner know much about each other's sexual histories (beyond number of partners)?
*Is there anything else you would like to note that is not covered in one of the questions above?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment