Alright, if you don't like cringe posts don't read this.
So, I'm 20 and my last relationship ended abruptly earlier this year - my last relationship before that was back in 2011; so you can tell I'm not a massive hit with women for long-term endeavours.
We weren't even dating that long, but this girl herself was so different and quirky in comparison to the women I knew before and it left a large mark on my relationship preferences. We broke up pretty spontaneously the morning after a decent night out, and I never really got closure because of that. We didn't speak all that much afterwards.
A couple of months ago I went through a really rough patch with a couple of personal and family issues, and completely changed personalities, shouted all sorts of obscenities at her and showed a face I just don't show. Most of those messages I deleted from my history a couple of weeks later because I felt so ****ty about it. I've been trying to get back into contact with her to apologise, but I'm pretty sure I pushed her over the edge and now she has me blocked on all fronts whether I'm sorry about it or not.
So, here's the situation now:
I work full time. I feel incredibly lonely up here - I work with a lot of people well above my age group, the gender balance is very much on the male side, and travel is not particularly convenient.
I tried online dating, it just isn't for me. The complete lack of face-to-face communication, and the fact that so many of the women on dating sites just show a complete lack of interest in anything other than clubbing just leaves me missing the openness my ex had, which is obviously not a healthy way to approach dating.
I've tried virtually everything to counteract these feelings. Excercise hasn't worked for me, and even if it did I get home at 6:30-7pm ready to go to bed. I talk to friends frequently, but often I'm too tired to hold a full conversation and distract myself.
What else can I do to move on from all this?
I suspect if she comes across this post she'll probably recognise who this is. I know this is cringey and probably quite desperate, but in a way this thread is a last-ditch attempt to try to get some sort of closure.
So, if that's you: the likelihood of a guy like me finding somebody like you again is virtually nil, and I'm sorry for the horrible things I said - you know that wasn't the normal me. Please, please... give me a chance to speak
Put the internet to work for you.
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