Hi guys & girls,
I really need some perspective on a recent bombshell my wife told me a few days ago. Here is some background info, been married for 2 years and we dated for a year before we got married. It was fast but I felt like I knew her well enough and the relationship was going well. She was the one to ask me out and she also asked me to marry her!
Ok so my wife has had 2 serious relationships in her life. One that lasted for 4 years and our relationship now. The first relationship ended about 1.5 years before we started dating. A few times in the first 6 months of our relationship she told me that she was still dealing with some issues regarding her ex BOYFRIEND (the capital letters will make sense later). These issues related to trust because HE cheated on her a couple of times and she found out and broke up with HIM. After a 2 month break up they got back for a month but then my wife broke it off with HIM for good. Ps they lived together for 3 years.
She told me all about HIM and what HE used to to and how she caught HIM cheating. How HE used to drink so much beer and be very insecure.
So naturally this painted a picture in my mind of this beta DUDE and I was feeling proud of myself for sowing her that not all guys are like that. She wouldnt talk about HIM much but I knew enough to gain some insight into what shaped her today. Its good to know if your married what kind of past your partner has as it will shape who they are now.
The Bombshell!!! So after two years of marriage she suddenly told me that her EX BOYFRIEND was not a guy at all. It was a GIRL. She was in a Lesbian relationship for 4 years and she has only been in 2 serious relationships. One with a GIRL and one with me her HUSBAND.
This completely knocked me back!!! I couldnt believe she never told me and even lied about it to my face for 3 years now. Painting a picture of this DUDE in my mind. Im feeling so many mixed emotions right now.
Ive no problem about the lesbian thing but I have a massive problem with her not being open. Its also a huge thing that I am her first straight relationship. I had no idea about this and it would have made me much more cautious when marrying her because I would want to make sure she knew what she wanted. I feel so disappointed that she felt that she couldnt tell me before now.
Whats bad is that I am the last person to find out and I even talked to some of her friends and family about how this EX BOYFRIEND treated her bad. They never told me it was a GIRL so I now feel a bit humiliated and im sure they had a laugh about what I said after.
Whats also getting under my skin is that I always thought it was strange how my wife was friends with so many lesbians. Lesbians love her and are so flirty with her because they know her past from mutual friends im guessing. I always laughed it off and thought it was cool that girls and guys thought my wife was hot but now im insecure about it because she wasnt honest.
For example she gets flirty lesbian texts all the time from certain friends and I thought it was just fun and teasing but now I see that it could be genuine flirting.
Also sometimes we go on nights out separate because I want some beers with the guys and she wants to socialize with her friends. She would go to lesbian bars with her friends which for me was super cool as she wouldnt be hit on by sleazy drunk dudes all night and she could go and enjoy herself. Now I see it differently for obvious reasons and I wonder if they try to tempt her to try a lesbian relationship again.
Im so disappointed right now as I was beginning to feel very secure in my relationship because I felt like I understood my wife completely. I felt very close to her.
Now I just feel confused and like I dont even know the person im married to. If she can lie to my face about this for 3 years then what else has she not told me or lied about?
What makes it worse is that she refuses to admit that she lied. She says all the stories were true but she just changed the gender. I told her that in court she would be lying end of story and she couldnt argue against that.
I really need some input and perspective on this because right now I dont know what to think.
I really need some perspective on a recent bombshell my wife told me a few days ago. Here is some background info, been married for 2 years and we dated for a year before we got married. It was fast but I felt like I knew her well enough and the relationship was going well. She was the one to ask me out and she also asked me to marry her!
Ok so my wife has had 2 serious relationships in her life. One that lasted for 4 years and our relationship now. The first relationship ended about 1.5 years before we started dating. A few times in the first 6 months of our relationship she told me that she was still dealing with some issues regarding her ex BOYFRIEND (the capital letters will make sense later). These issues related to trust because HE cheated on her a couple of times and she found out and broke up with HIM. After a 2 month break up they got back for a month but then my wife broke it off with HIM for good. Ps they lived together for 3 years.
She told me all about HIM and what HE used to to and how she caught HIM cheating. How HE used to drink so much beer and be very insecure.
So naturally this painted a picture in my mind of this beta DUDE and I was feeling proud of myself for sowing her that not all guys are like that. She wouldnt talk about HIM much but I knew enough to gain some insight into what shaped her today. Its good to know if your married what kind of past your partner has as it will shape who they are now.
The Bombshell!!! So after two years of marriage she suddenly told me that her EX BOYFRIEND was not a guy at all. It was a GIRL. She was in a Lesbian relationship for 4 years and she has only been in 2 serious relationships. One with a GIRL and one with me her HUSBAND.
This completely knocked me back!!! I couldnt believe she never told me and even lied about it to my face for 3 years now. Painting a picture of this DUDE in my mind. Im feeling so many mixed emotions right now.
Ive no problem about the lesbian thing but I have a massive problem with her not being open. Its also a huge thing that I am her first straight relationship. I had no idea about this and it would have made me much more cautious when marrying her because I would want to make sure she knew what she wanted. I feel so disappointed that she felt that she couldnt tell me before now.
Whats bad is that I am the last person to find out and I even talked to some of her friends and family about how this EX BOYFRIEND treated her bad. They never told me it was a GIRL so I now feel a bit humiliated and im sure they had a laugh about what I said after.
Whats also getting under my skin is that I always thought it was strange how my wife was friends with so many lesbians. Lesbians love her and are so flirty with her because they know her past from mutual friends im guessing. I always laughed it off and thought it was cool that girls and guys thought my wife was hot but now im insecure about it because she wasnt honest.
For example she gets flirty lesbian texts all the time from certain friends and I thought it was just fun and teasing but now I see that it could be genuine flirting.
Also sometimes we go on nights out separate because I want some beers with the guys and she wants to socialize with her friends. She would go to lesbian bars with her friends which for me was super cool as she wouldnt be hit on by sleazy drunk dudes all night and she could go and enjoy herself. Now I see it differently for obvious reasons and I wonder if they try to tempt her to try a lesbian relationship again.
Im so disappointed right now as I was beginning to feel very secure in my relationship because I felt like I understood my wife completely. I felt very close to her.
Now I just feel confused and like I dont even know the person im married to. If she can lie to my face about this for 3 years then what else has she not told me or lied about?
What makes it worse is that she refuses to admit that she lied. She says all the stories were true but she just changed the gender. I told her that in court she would be lying end of story and she couldnt argue against that.
I really need some input and perspective on this because right now I dont know what to think.
Put the internet to work for you.
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