Basically I've been told I have anger issues. I just don't see..
I am NOT violent.
But I can be a bit rough with my words.. It seems like after my divorce I might be a bit blunt ?
I do get loud when I am upset and I guess being a big guy it can scare people, especially women that I am dating..
Here is one of the latest fights.. Its sexually graphic but I have to put it out here so I get some ideas if I am nuts..
I have an issue which is a form of retarded ejaculation.. Nutshell it can take me up to an hour to orgasm and sometimes even more. Sometimes I just don't and call it a session.
With oral it can be hit and miss, most time its a miss which is basically I never orgasm when given oral. Unless the person has enough stamina and determination to get it done.. Very few and far between.
On top of this I think its a bit psychological and just learning to control it.
But what happens is after a session of love making which encompasses both intercourse and oral, on and off on the oral. I just begin to fall limp.. So about an hour into it we take a break. We are laying down together ( its a female just in case some are wondering ) and I begin to start it up myself if you get what I am saying..
The G.F. gets up and goes to the bathroom and says something along the lines of "You get it going and I will finish it off".
I took offense to that and it turned me off. I felt as if I wasn't worth the effort and basically jerking off with a naked woman in the room. I just felt retarded.. I just thought I would get more interaction then just that.
Its like I am building a house and then she comes along and puts up the last brick and then announces to everyone I built this house..
I thought she might jump in and mix it up with me or even cheer me on. IDK... But you get what I mean.
I almost felt like she was going to make a ham sandwich and then watch some TV and come back to see how the progress was going..
In the end I felt she made me feel like I wasn't worth it or the effort.. It was a let down..
Being a talkative guy and emotional person everyone knows when I am upset because I shut down and give limited to one word answers..
I am looking to go home and just let it go and swallow it, but she catches on and from expressing how I feel it ends up into a big fight..
Another thing that occurred the day before.. She took apart a light fixture thinking there might be a hidden camera in it.. Someone put a bug in her head telling her I might be spying on her because that is what she ( this other woman talking to her ) did to her husband.
I am very technically savvy and working in Law Enforcement and doing computer forensics, she felt it wouldn't be past me to do something like this.. On top of this I am un-trusting by nature and what transpired between me and my Ex wife.. But even I thought that was nuts..
She wanted me to put the light fixture back together but would not apologize for being wrong and overly suspicious..
I first I basically told her no until she said I'm sorry for accusing me of such a crazy thing. I told her if I was that suspicious we would not be together.. Not worth my sanity..
So during this fight I told her maybe she was lacking in that department of oral copulation.. I was upset because she was making excuses and trying to blame me for things..
I just never had these sort of issues with my Ex.. Yes my Ex was a cheating wh0re.. But beyond that ( I know it sounds lame ) we had not issues that resorted in big dumb fights..
It is almost like we don't know how to fight with each other. She says things to hurt me and I fire back..
She is the type of girl that has lived on her looks.. Men would bend on hand and knee for her and she is used to that.. She thinks I am mean and cruel at times.. I won't argue I have a cops mentality and it is a bit sharp and sarcastic..
For example she would rather hear a complement come out of your mouth then a sarcastic complement.. For example If I told her she is the best woman in the place and we happen to be standing in her apartment and its just me and her.. She could take an offense to that. Whereas me telling her she is so beautiful makes her melt.
I know I am all over the place here, but I am hoping someone or a few will get my mind set and possibly give me some insight..
I am partially forgetting things as well. We are going to talk tonight and I will flesh this story out a bit more..
She is a girly girl and is the I need to be rescued type. As an example she does not like being on top because it is too much work for her sexually.. But she does get on top occasionally.. Not a complaint from me for the most part.. But I am trying to give people an idea of this the best I can..
Yes I do go to therapy every week and will address it yet again with the therapist.. Basically I am at the be the best man I can be and not worry about what can happen with her.. I might be falling short here..
I am NOT violent.
But I can be a bit rough with my words.. It seems like after my divorce I might be a bit blunt ?
I do get loud when I am upset and I guess being a big guy it can scare people, especially women that I am dating..
Here is one of the latest fights.. Its sexually graphic but I have to put it out here so I get some ideas if I am nuts..
I have an issue which is a form of retarded ejaculation.. Nutshell it can take me up to an hour to orgasm and sometimes even more. Sometimes I just don't and call it a session.
With oral it can be hit and miss, most time its a miss which is basically I never orgasm when given oral. Unless the person has enough stamina and determination to get it done.. Very few and far between.
On top of this I think its a bit psychological and just learning to control it.
But what happens is after a session of love making which encompasses both intercourse and oral, on and off on the oral. I just begin to fall limp.. So about an hour into it we take a break. We are laying down together ( its a female just in case some are wondering ) and I begin to start it up myself if you get what I am saying..
The G.F. gets up and goes to the bathroom and says something along the lines of "You get it going and I will finish it off".
I took offense to that and it turned me off. I felt as if I wasn't worth the effort and basically jerking off with a naked woman in the room. I just felt retarded.. I just thought I would get more interaction then just that.
Its like I am building a house and then she comes along and puts up the last brick and then announces to everyone I built this house..
I thought she might jump in and mix it up with me or even cheer me on. IDK... But you get what I mean.
I almost felt like she was going to make a ham sandwich and then watch some TV and come back to see how the progress was going..
In the end I felt she made me feel like I wasn't worth it or the effort.. It was a let down..
Being a talkative guy and emotional person everyone knows when I am upset because I shut down and give limited to one word answers..
I am looking to go home and just let it go and swallow it, but she catches on and from expressing how I feel it ends up into a big fight..
Another thing that occurred the day before.. She took apart a light fixture thinking there might be a hidden camera in it.. Someone put a bug in her head telling her I might be spying on her because that is what she ( this other woman talking to her ) did to her husband.
I am very technically savvy and working in Law Enforcement and doing computer forensics, she felt it wouldn't be past me to do something like this.. On top of this I am un-trusting by nature and what transpired between me and my Ex wife.. But even I thought that was nuts..
She wanted me to put the light fixture back together but would not apologize for being wrong and overly suspicious..
I first I basically told her no until she said I'm sorry for accusing me of such a crazy thing. I told her if I was that suspicious we would not be together.. Not worth my sanity..
So during this fight I told her maybe she was lacking in that department of oral copulation.. I was upset because she was making excuses and trying to blame me for things..
I just never had these sort of issues with my Ex.. Yes my Ex was a cheating wh0re.. But beyond that ( I know it sounds lame ) we had not issues that resorted in big dumb fights..
It is almost like we don't know how to fight with each other. She says things to hurt me and I fire back..
She is the type of girl that has lived on her looks.. Men would bend on hand and knee for her and she is used to that.. She thinks I am mean and cruel at times.. I won't argue I have a cops mentality and it is a bit sharp and sarcastic..
For example she would rather hear a complement come out of your mouth then a sarcastic complement.. For example If I told her she is the best woman in the place and we happen to be standing in her apartment and its just me and her.. She could take an offense to that. Whereas me telling her she is so beautiful makes her melt.
I know I am all over the place here, but I am hoping someone or a few will get my mind set and possibly give me some insight..
I am partially forgetting things as well. We are going to talk tonight and I will flesh this story out a bit more..
She is a girly girl and is the I need to be rescued type. As an example she does not like being on top because it is too much work for her sexually.. But she does get on top occasionally.. Not a complaint from me for the most part.. But I am trying to give people an idea of this the best I can..
Yes I do go to therapy every week and will address it yet again with the therapist.. Basically I am at the be the best man I can be and not worry about what can happen with her.. I might be falling short here..
Put the internet to work for you.
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