Married for 15 years, separated for 2, we have 3 kids aged 14,9 and 5.
We live in different countries since separation, 2 years ago, and in the last year together we argued mostly, about anything and everything.
He met someone after 1 year and told me he still was undecided where he wanted to go from there, but the feelings for the OW were very strong. They began a relationship and it seemed that it gave him a lot of energy and helped him as he was depressed before, having lost us, his family.
This is going on for 1 year, I was depressed and it hurt like hell that he chose to start a new life instead of mending and working on our life together.
However, I would consider saving our marriage as he is otherwise a good father and a good person in general, never lied or cheated, always provided for our family and tried his best to make everyone happy, he is a Mr Nice Guy overall ( somehow emotionally immature, with a strong bond and a feeling of responsibility and guilt towards his parents that slowly destroyed our marriage).
We are discussing Reconciliation. However, he is asking me to let him handle the things his way, but to me, he does not seem ready ( he still lives overseas and has contact with her, he still has feelings for her and I understand there is high chemistry and compatibility between them). He tells me he mostly cannot go on living without his children in his life and this is the reason he wants R basically . He is very slow at taking decisions in general and never ever acts on impulses or rushes into a decision. He is working now on finding a new job somewhere where we can start a new life. But in the meantime is still seeing her. And this is killing me, it hurts me... he is apologising and begs me to try to ignore this and concentrate on the future. Which I think is bull**** and I believe he is weak and can't just finish the relationship, he needs to physically remove himself from that place...
Well, I know I want my kids do be able to have a whole, normal, happy family and they need him and I know he has many qualities.
We managed to bring the harmony back into our relationship and we didn't argue anymore. I just don't know how I will ever be able to make love to him again, how I will erase her from his and my mind and how can we bring back the chemistry, the trust and love???
Love is gone. Especially from his side. I still think I love him but I have days when I am not so sure anymore, and then I think of what I liked about him during all our years together and I realise I love my husband, with all his faults, just that it seems to me he is not the same man with my husband....I mean he still has all the qualities he had before but his love affair makes him a different man in my eyes...
However, when I am not mad at him, I still feel a warm feeling when I think about him.
We live in different countries since separation, 2 years ago, and in the last year together we argued mostly, about anything and everything.
He met someone after 1 year and told me he still was undecided where he wanted to go from there, but the feelings for the OW were very strong. They began a relationship and it seemed that it gave him a lot of energy and helped him as he was depressed before, having lost us, his family.
This is going on for 1 year, I was depressed and it hurt like hell that he chose to start a new life instead of mending and working on our life together.
However, I would consider saving our marriage as he is otherwise a good father and a good person in general, never lied or cheated, always provided for our family and tried his best to make everyone happy, he is a Mr Nice Guy overall ( somehow emotionally immature, with a strong bond and a feeling of responsibility and guilt towards his parents that slowly destroyed our marriage).
We are discussing Reconciliation. However, he is asking me to let him handle the things his way, but to me, he does not seem ready ( he still lives overseas and has contact with her, he still has feelings for her and I understand there is high chemistry and compatibility between them). He tells me he mostly cannot go on living without his children in his life and this is the reason he wants R basically . He is very slow at taking decisions in general and never ever acts on impulses or rushes into a decision. He is working now on finding a new job somewhere where we can start a new life. But in the meantime is still seeing her. And this is killing me, it hurts me... he is apologising and begs me to try to ignore this and concentrate on the future. Which I think is bull**** and I believe he is weak and can't just finish the relationship, he needs to physically remove himself from that place...
Well, I know I want my kids do be able to have a whole, normal, happy family and they need him and I know he has many qualities.
We managed to bring the harmony back into our relationship and we didn't argue anymore. I just don't know how I will ever be able to make love to him again, how I will erase her from his and my mind and how can we bring back the chemistry, the trust and love???
Love is gone. Especially from his side. I still think I love him but I have days when I am not so sure anymore, and then I think of what I liked about him during all our years together and I realise I love my husband, with all his faults, just that it seems to me he is not the same man with my husband....I mean he still has all the qualities he had before but his love affair makes him a different man in my eyes...
However, when I am not mad at him, I still feel a warm feeling when I think about him.
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