I'm here because I'm trying to save my marriage. I've been married to my wife for 6 years. We have 2 boys together. She is not from here as I met her in Singapore. I was in the military back then and I met her there during a port visit. We kept in contact over time and I took leave to visit her. I fell in love with her and I ended up getting her a visa to come live with me in the states. My family as well as my friends told me not to do it because they thought she was just using me to come here. I did not feel that way because she gave me no reason to believe that she was using me. We spoke almost everyday, talked on skype, and wrote each other letters. I had never seen a woman so beautiful and I was infatuated with her. We were both in love and I knew back then that I made the right decision.
I've since gotten out of the military and I've taken a job working off shore. Sometimes I am out 3 weeks at a time and sometimes it's 2 weeks. Although I spend a lot of time away from my family, I love them and give them everything that they need. I make really good money on this job (6 figures) and my wife or children have never needed anything. I thought I had the perfect life.
When I'm home, I try to do all the work I can get caught up around the house. I let my wife handle all the financials and I try to do most of the heavy lifting. To make a long story short, I couldn't keep up with our lawn maintenance because it would grow too long while I was away. I didn't want my wife to do it so I decided to hire a company to come in and cut it every week. I hired these guys back in 2012 and they have been doing odd jobs for us ever since. Not only did they handle the landscaping, they did other things such as installing tile and molding in the bathroom. I became friends with the owner (his name is Alejandro) and there was no indication that he had any kind of relationship with my wife.
Back in June, I came home a week early because of issues with a ship at work. My intention was to surprise my wife and spend the day with her before picking up the kids from school. I pulled up to the house and saw the landscaping tools out front. I didn't see anyone working out front so I assumed they were working in the back. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but I made my wife in the house and found my wife in the living room with Alejandros's junk in her mouth while another man was having sex with her doggy style. There was at least 6-7 other men in the room and all of them were naked. I recognized all of them as being the men I had hired. My first reaction was to save her because I thought she was getting raped. I charged in but it immediately became apparent that this was no rape. The room was trashed with condoms and dirty clothes everywhere. All those little ****ers scattered and ran out as soon as they saw me. I can't describe the feeling but I immediately went into shock. It felt like a bad dream. My wife was there trying to tell me what had happened all the while with semen in her hair and butt naked in my living room. God I wish I can get these images out of my head because it was a nightmare. I ended up leaving the house and getting a hotel. I knew that if I stayed, I would have put my hands on her and would have ended up in jail.
Time passed and I took time off of work because I was having suicidal thoughts and I was depressed. I couldn't believe that I was out trying to make money and she was back home sleeping with the landscaping crew. She tried to say that she was lonely and first she only slept with Alejandro. She said that he would come in the house while the other guys were working and flirt with her. She claims that this was only the second time that they had sex and she swore that the other men that were in the room (naked) were only watching. She said that she didn't want the other man to have sex with her from behind but the thought excited her since she wanted sex and I wasn't around. This hurt me because some of it doesn't make sense. Still, this doesn't explain why she decided to have an orgy with him and his crew. It didn't explain why she decided to do this without first bringing her problems to me. I know I'm not perfect and I knew that I missed a lot of time from home. Still, I gave her and my sons everything they needed and they had the perfect life.
I've been going to therapy and I've calmed down a lot. I've been talking to my wife and she convinced me to move back in the house in December. It's been hard because I've felt that I have been the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood. She says that she is sorry and that she would never do anything like this again. She has given me all of the passwords and I have access to the phone bill. I've quit my job working off shore because I want to be closer to home. I feel somewhat guilty for being away so long at a time and I feel that is one of the contributors to her cheating. I don't feel secure enough when I leave the house and I always feel that she may be cheating on me. Alejandro tried to call me multiple times to apologize and when I finally spoke to him, I told him I would break his neck if he came in my area again. That has not made things better and I'm looking for a way to forgive me wife and move on. Just today, we had some vacuum salemen come to our door and my wife let them in. I did not like the way she was talking with them because she seemed to be flattered and just overall too happy to see them. It pissed me off and when they left, we had a big fight because I accused her of wanting to sleep with them. I left for a few hours to cool my head but I went back to apologize. I'm trying to trust her but now I feel that she could be cheating at any time when I'm not around. Am I crazy or am I a fool for trying to make things work with this woman? Should I just blindly trust her and hope for the best? What can I do to rekindle this marriage and stop being so paranoid? I know this is long but thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice.
I've since gotten out of the military and I've taken a job working off shore. Sometimes I am out 3 weeks at a time and sometimes it's 2 weeks. Although I spend a lot of time away from my family, I love them and give them everything that they need. I make really good money on this job (6 figures) and my wife or children have never needed anything. I thought I had the perfect life.
When I'm home, I try to do all the work I can get caught up around the house. I let my wife handle all the financials and I try to do most of the heavy lifting. To make a long story short, I couldn't keep up with our lawn maintenance because it would grow too long while I was away. I didn't want my wife to do it so I decided to hire a company to come in and cut it every week. I hired these guys back in 2012 and they have been doing odd jobs for us ever since. Not only did they handle the landscaping, they did other things such as installing tile and molding in the bathroom. I became friends with the owner (his name is Alejandro) and there was no indication that he had any kind of relationship with my wife.
Back in June, I came home a week early because of issues with a ship at work. My intention was to surprise my wife and spend the day with her before picking up the kids from school. I pulled up to the house and saw the landscaping tools out front. I didn't see anyone working out front so I assumed they were working in the back. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but I made my wife in the house and found my wife in the living room with Alejandros's junk in her mouth while another man was having sex with her doggy style. There was at least 6-7 other men in the room and all of them were naked. I recognized all of them as being the men I had hired. My first reaction was to save her because I thought she was getting raped. I charged in but it immediately became apparent that this was no rape. The room was trashed with condoms and dirty clothes everywhere. All those little ****ers scattered and ran out as soon as they saw me. I can't describe the feeling but I immediately went into shock. It felt like a bad dream. My wife was there trying to tell me what had happened all the while with semen in her hair and butt naked in my living room. God I wish I can get these images out of my head because it was a nightmare. I ended up leaving the house and getting a hotel. I knew that if I stayed, I would have put my hands on her and would have ended up in jail.
Time passed and I took time off of work because I was having suicidal thoughts and I was depressed. I couldn't believe that I was out trying to make money and she was back home sleeping with the landscaping crew. She tried to say that she was lonely and first she only slept with Alejandro. She said that he would come in the house while the other guys were working and flirt with her. She claims that this was only the second time that they had sex and she swore that the other men that were in the room (naked) were only watching. She said that she didn't want the other man to have sex with her from behind but the thought excited her since she wanted sex and I wasn't around. This hurt me because some of it doesn't make sense. Still, this doesn't explain why she decided to have an orgy with him and his crew. It didn't explain why she decided to do this without first bringing her problems to me. I know I'm not perfect and I knew that I missed a lot of time from home. Still, I gave her and my sons everything they needed and they had the perfect life.
I've been going to therapy and I've calmed down a lot. I've been talking to my wife and she convinced me to move back in the house in December. It's been hard because I've felt that I have been the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood. She says that she is sorry and that she would never do anything like this again. She has given me all of the passwords and I have access to the phone bill. I've quit my job working off shore because I want to be closer to home. I feel somewhat guilty for being away so long at a time and I feel that is one of the contributors to her cheating. I don't feel secure enough when I leave the house and I always feel that she may be cheating on me. Alejandro tried to call me multiple times to apologize and when I finally spoke to him, I told him I would break his neck if he came in my area again. That has not made things better and I'm looking for a way to forgive me wife and move on. Just today, we had some vacuum salemen come to our door and my wife let them in. I did not like the way she was talking with them because she seemed to be flattered and just overall too happy to see them. It pissed me off and when they left, we had a big fight because I accused her of wanting to sleep with them. I left for a few hours to cool my head but I went back to apologize. I'm trying to trust her but now I feel that she could be cheating at any time when I'm not around. Am I crazy or am I a fool for trying to make things work with this woman? Should I just blindly trust her and hope for the best? What can I do to rekindle this marriage and stop being so paranoid? I know this is long but thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice.
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