I don't usually do this but I thought I'd do it on here cause this is literally driving me mad.
Basically I'm a student at University in my second year and ever since about a month in, I went out with this girl. We even moved in together after our supposed friend left us out in the high and dry. However in this relationship there were massive problems, we had almost contact arguments and I honestly tried my best to stop them.
However there was always one standard for her and one standard for me with everything and she was almost constantly ill which put even more strain on me as a person. Not a serious illness but a hard illness combined with her depression made it so tough on me. I don't want to sound mean but I now realise that she was emotionally abusive, I gave up interests to suit her, I felt afraid to voice my own opinion and I felt emasculated completely. I got very angry all the time out of her refusal to change or even compromise and I admit I shouted but I was under so much stress. I've gained about a stone and a half in eight months and I've always been a healthy guy.
She was also a Lesbian who was raped at one point and she claims that I'm the only guy she'd ever felt interested in (this is true). I note this so you're not confused when I talk about her with other girls. She also took my virginity. I've had two other GF'S with sexual contact but she was the first.
It all came to a head when I had tried to get her to get help relating to her rape and she carried on with her self-physical abuse and making me out like the bad guy. I just couldn't cope anymore and I had to leave otherwise I would snap.
She cried and that and told me I was the one constant and that she had secretly started therapy the week before and that I was leaving her out to dry. I told her that it was making both of us unhappy and I couldn't deal with it anymore. But I would always be there for her as a friend to help deal with the rape and that. I was the first person she ever told about the rape.
Luckily I found another apartment and we managed to get that sorted out.
This is where it gets bad:
Basically I decided to start again, start reaching out to friends and go cinema and get healthy again. However, you must know that I go to a highly technical course, there's only thirteen of us on the course including me and my ex and there's only two societies - an LGBT society and a Christian society neither of which appeal to me. Most people don't like me and so I only have limited opportunisties to get out with the few guys (those who left us in the high and dry originally) to the cinema but they either have GF's or aren't interested in that sort of thing e.g. meeting girls and that.
Now what's driving me mad is that my ex is completely moved on. I'm from a foreign nation so I don't know anybody here, but she's from a town two hours away and so she's got all her friends and she's constantly out and about, at clubs, at cinema's and so on. What's hurt the most however is that I found out about three days after we broke up she slept with a girl as a rebound and now she's dating another girl.
What makes it bad is that she always said that she believed that she would have a little bit that loved me and I disagreed at the time. Turns out that I was correct as she says she hates me as a person and that nobody likes me. In fact she didn't love me at all, she just fooled herself into believing it. Even worse she says she's told other people about the rape and is fine with it and that she faked every orgasm other the past month or two. I feel so hurt I was so angry at the guy who done it and wanted her to get help but now she's fine with it. Just so much pain for nothing for me.
It hurts to find out that all she said was BS and even worse that she's actually said she never thought she could be so happy and that I made her the unhappiest ever. I done something stupid after we spent all night talking about how we felt and she told me all the things about how she hates me and I'm evil and nobody likes me. In fact it was me was the reason the guys refused to move in with us despite prior agreeing. At the end it all calmed down and for some insane reason I thought I would give her a peck on the lips. She just went off ASAP and I felt like an idiot.
The weird thing is that I feel freer than I've ever been for a long time and I'm honestly not attracted to her in anyway, I have no idea what I was thinking. I guess that several drinks and staying up to eight in the morning might have had something to do with it.
I just write here to seek advice; I feel I'm fat, stupid and ugly and that nobody will love me again. People look at me like I'm a freak. I honestly just want to cry with frustration because she made me a man I never wanted to be for so long and haven't been for a long time. She's just completely moved on easily in three weeks despite saying that she said never would and would be sad and furthermore all the problems that she cried and self-harmed about are now solved. Apparently I was the reason she was sad about the rape and I caused her and everybody else nothing but unhappiness.
Does anybody have any advice of how I could get over this frustration? I don't want her back and I think that I just miss having a GF not her. To be honest I feel mad with jealously that she could get over it in a matter of days, bounce back and honestly not give a **** despite telling me that she would in the past and making such a big deal out of it and changing my view to that of hers e.g. you always love somebody yet when it came down to it, she didn't feel that way at all. You may not want to be with them like I don't but you still care a bit.
I know I've made stupid mistakes in dealing with this and I feel like hitting myself over how dumb I've been. I just feel so desolate. I always said I wanted to get out with her and visit places and do things but she never wanted to do them yet now she blames me for holding her back. If I had ever showed any signs I would understand but I literally said she should get friends, go out and have a hell of a time, not always with me. I feel I wasted a year of my life for nothing, having my heart and soul demanded of me for everything and now she's moved on completely. I do feel free but it just hurts to see her so at ease with the whole thing when compared with the melodrama that ensued before.
I have started making steps. I go to the gym again (I've lost three pounds) and I have started going back out with some guys. But it still drives me and I don't want to feel this at all.
Any words for me. How can I meet new people around my age who aren't at my Uni considering there is really no options?
Basically I'm a student at University in my second year and ever since about a month in, I went out with this girl. We even moved in together after our supposed friend left us out in the high and dry. However in this relationship there were massive problems, we had almost contact arguments and I honestly tried my best to stop them.
However there was always one standard for her and one standard for me with everything and she was almost constantly ill which put even more strain on me as a person. Not a serious illness but a hard illness combined with her depression made it so tough on me. I don't want to sound mean but I now realise that she was emotionally abusive, I gave up interests to suit her, I felt afraid to voice my own opinion and I felt emasculated completely. I got very angry all the time out of her refusal to change or even compromise and I admit I shouted but I was under so much stress. I've gained about a stone and a half in eight months and I've always been a healthy guy.
She was also a Lesbian who was raped at one point and she claims that I'm the only guy she'd ever felt interested in (this is true). I note this so you're not confused when I talk about her with other girls. She also took my virginity. I've had two other GF'S with sexual contact but she was the first.
It all came to a head when I had tried to get her to get help relating to her rape and she carried on with her self-physical abuse and making me out like the bad guy. I just couldn't cope anymore and I had to leave otherwise I would snap.
She cried and that and told me I was the one constant and that she had secretly started therapy the week before and that I was leaving her out to dry. I told her that it was making both of us unhappy and I couldn't deal with it anymore. But I would always be there for her as a friend to help deal with the rape and that. I was the first person she ever told about the rape.
Luckily I found another apartment and we managed to get that sorted out.
This is where it gets bad:
Basically I decided to start again, start reaching out to friends and go cinema and get healthy again. However, you must know that I go to a highly technical course, there's only thirteen of us on the course including me and my ex and there's only two societies - an LGBT society and a Christian society neither of which appeal to me. Most people don't like me and so I only have limited opportunisties to get out with the few guys (those who left us in the high and dry originally) to the cinema but they either have GF's or aren't interested in that sort of thing e.g. meeting girls and that.
Now what's driving me mad is that my ex is completely moved on. I'm from a foreign nation so I don't know anybody here, but she's from a town two hours away and so she's got all her friends and she's constantly out and about, at clubs, at cinema's and so on. What's hurt the most however is that I found out about three days after we broke up she slept with a girl as a rebound and now she's dating another girl.
What makes it bad is that she always said that she believed that she would have a little bit that loved me and I disagreed at the time. Turns out that I was correct as she says she hates me as a person and that nobody likes me. In fact she didn't love me at all, she just fooled herself into believing it. Even worse she says she's told other people about the rape and is fine with it and that she faked every orgasm other the past month or two. I feel so hurt I was so angry at the guy who done it and wanted her to get help but now she's fine with it. Just so much pain for nothing for me.
It hurts to find out that all she said was BS and even worse that she's actually said she never thought she could be so happy and that I made her the unhappiest ever. I done something stupid after we spent all night talking about how we felt and she told me all the things about how she hates me and I'm evil and nobody likes me. In fact it was me was the reason the guys refused to move in with us despite prior agreeing. At the end it all calmed down and for some insane reason I thought I would give her a peck on the lips. She just went off ASAP and I felt like an idiot.
The weird thing is that I feel freer than I've ever been for a long time and I'm honestly not attracted to her in anyway, I have no idea what I was thinking. I guess that several drinks and staying up to eight in the morning might have had something to do with it.
I just write here to seek advice; I feel I'm fat, stupid and ugly and that nobody will love me again. People look at me like I'm a freak. I honestly just want to cry with frustration because she made me a man I never wanted to be for so long and haven't been for a long time. She's just completely moved on easily in three weeks despite saying that she said never would and would be sad and furthermore all the problems that she cried and self-harmed about are now solved. Apparently I was the reason she was sad about the rape and I caused her and everybody else nothing but unhappiness.
Does anybody have any advice of how I could get over this frustration? I don't want her back and I think that I just miss having a GF not her. To be honest I feel mad with jealously that she could get over it in a matter of days, bounce back and honestly not give a **** despite telling me that she would in the past and making such a big deal out of it and changing my view to that of hers e.g. you always love somebody yet when it came down to it, she didn't feel that way at all. You may not want to be with them like I don't but you still care a bit.
I know I've made stupid mistakes in dealing with this and I feel like hitting myself over how dumb I've been. I just feel so desolate. I always said I wanted to get out with her and visit places and do things but she never wanted to do them yet now she blames me for holding her back. If I had ever showed any signs I would understand but I literally said she should get friends, go out and have a hell of a time, not always with me. I feel I wasted a year of my life for nothing, having my heart and soul demanded of me for everything and now she's moved on completely. I do feel free but it just hurts to see her so at ease with the whole thing when compared with the melodrama that ensued before.
I have started making steps. I go to the gym again (I've lost three pounds) and I have started going back out with some guys. But it still drives me and I don't want to feel this at all.
Any words for me. How can I meet new people around my age who aren't at my Uni considering there is really no options?
Put the internet to work for you.
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