I have been married for around 7 months. A month back, I was using my wife's phone to check IM (WhatsApp) messages, with her permission, as my phone was not working. I noticed a message from a guy which said, "hugs, missing you" and my wife had replied with "miss you too". I was alarmed a bit but let it go thinking it might have been a very good friend.
10 days back, I was checking mails on laptop and her account opened as she had forgotten to log out. On the very top, there was a chat with the same guy, which ended with "love you" and "love you too". I felt sick in the stomach. I did some more investigations in her emails, FB chats and IM chats.
What did I find? There were 3 guys, all of whom she was involved with in the past (including physical relations). She was chatting with them almost daily, as a couple would chat. Lots of "love you" and "miss you"s, kisses and hugs...
None of these guys live in my city.
Guy A: My wife had told her parents that he wanted to marry this guy but her parents were not willing. I didn't know any of this before marriage. He had come to my city a month back and my wife was upset about him not telling her in advance. She was upset about not getting to meet him in person.
Guy B: My wife wrote to him that she wishes she was married to him instead of me and how she missed out on it. A month before our marriage, she asked him to continue keeping in touch with her and not "forget her".
Guy C: My wife mentioned to him that she was not satisfied with our sex life.
Confrontation: I confronted her couple of days back and at first I got denial and trickle truth. When I showed her the proofs, she said that she was talking to them because our relationship was not doing well but she wants to be with only me. She was not willing to share any details about who these guys were and nature of her relationships with them.
I started behaving distantly with her as I couldn't bear to even look at her face. We had another talk last night and she again blamed me and said that she went to these guys because I was not treating her well. That is not true at all, there has been no emotional/physical abuse from my side. I have been a good husband, best I could be.
She also continues to underestimate the extent of her involvement with these guys. She has a problem with the term ex-boyfriends and says that all three were just good friends. She also said that she was not physically involved with any of these guys. The mails and chats I have suggest completely opposite. I am sure that even if one of the guys was staying in the same city as mine, there would have been a PA already.
What should I do? I am in a very difficult place right now. I feel betrayed. I feel like I don't even know my wife anymore. If she would have been continuing affair with an ex-boyfriend because she couldn't marry him, I could have understood it. But she is flirting with THREE of her ex-boyfriends at the same time (she might have even dated them at the same time, from the dates of mails and chats). How could a person do that?
Any advice appreciated.
tl;dr: Wife having simultaneous emotional affairs with THREE of her ex-boyfriends. I have proofs. When confronted, got denial and trickle truth.
10 days back, I was checking mails on laptop and her account opened as she had forgotten to log out. On the very top, there was a chat with the same guy, which ended with "love you" and "love you too". I felt sick in the stomach. I did some more investigations in her emails, FB chats and IM chats.
What did I find? There were 3 guys, all of whom she was involved with in the past (including physical relations). She was chatting with them almost daily, as a couple would chat. Lots of "love you" and "miss you"s, kisses and hugs...
None of these guys live in my city.
Guy A: My wife had told her parents that he wanted to marry this guy but her parents were not willing. I didn't know any of this before marriage. He had come to my city a month back and my wife was upset about him not telling her in advance. She was upset about not getting to meet him in person.
Guy B: My wife wrote to him that she wishes she was married to him instead of me and how she missed out on it. A month before our marriage, she asked him to continue keeping in touch with her and not "forget her".
Guy C: My wife mentioned to him that she was not satisfied with our sex life.
Confrontation: I confronted her couple of days back and at first I got denial and trickle truth. When I showed her the proofs, she said that she was talking to them because our relationship was not doing well but she wants to be with only me. She was not willing to share any details about who these guys were and nature of her relationships with them.
I started behaving distantly with her as I couldn't bear to even look at her face. We had another talk last night and she again blamed me and said that she went to these guys because I was not treating her well. That is not true at all, there has been no emotional/physical abuse from my side. I have been a good husband, best I could be.
She also continues to underestimate the extent of her involvement with these guys. She has a problem with the term ex-boyfriends and says that all three were just good friends. She also said that she was not physically involved with any of these guys. The mails and chats I have suggest completely opposite. I am sure that even if one of the guys was staying in the same city as mine, there would have been a PA already.
What should I do? I am in a very difficult place right now. I feel betrayed. I feel like I don't even know my wife anymore. If she would have been continuing affair with an ex-boyfriend because she couldn't marry him, I could have understood it. But she is flirting with THREE of her ex-boyfriends at the same time (she might have even dated them at the same time, from the dates of mails and chats). How could a person do that?
Any advice appreciated.
tl;dr: Wife having simultaneous emotional affairs with THREE of her ex-boyfriends. I have proofs. When confronted, got denial and trickle truth.
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