I have been married for 27 years. We are both in our late 40's. (yes we married young).
She has health issues (diabetes and RA).
We rarely have sex. When we do (once every 2 months?) I finish too quick - because it's been so long. So I admit....it's not great when we do have sex (for her).
Valentine's day....no sex.....and I finally had a thought - I don't want to have sex with my wife.
So why?
1) Negative attitude
She never says "good morning" or tries to make the best out of the day. Yes, life has been hard the last 5 years. Her health, the economy has beat us down, and other life issues. But I figure, make the best of things. These are the cards we are dealt - they suck - but deal with them.
2) She is boring
After 27 years...sex gets a tad boring. I am not looking for a "hole"....I am looking for someone who will work with me to spice it up. Pardon the crudeness...but to lay there with your legs spread is not fun. It has cause me to have some performance issues. I never had these issues before, and I take meds that help to "prop up" the issue.
3) Lack of communication
When I have asked in the past what we can do....she says it's both our fault. And she is correct. I have become so apathetic about sex....I prefer masturbation to trying.
I am not saying another partner would be a better option....though it would be nice to have someone who cared as much about our sex life...and ergo....closeness.... as she does about the house being clean.
Through her sickness she has time to clean (it's not what you think...I would love a dirty house....she needs a show piece house)....get her nails done...watch tv....sew...and some other hobbies she enjoys.
I just never thought I would stop trying for sex with my wife.
And I have....stopped trying. I do not even bother. Flowers....dinners....jewelry.....paying the mortgage.....taking care of things around the house......vacuuming.....emptying the dishwasher.....trying to sit down and just talk......whether I do them or not....I never get a positive response.
I am rather shocked at my response and epiphany...if you will...about me no longer caring about sex with her.
Which is a shame.
She is very hot.
We are approaching 50 in a couple of years.
Is this the way couples go?
Am I a bad person for no longer trying?
I will re-state that her medical issues are the driving force in our life and relationship.
She feels bad almost daily and goes to the doctor about once a week. In addition....she take a large amount of vicodin that the doctor says she needs to maintain the pain threshold due to diabetic neurotropicthy she has developed.
Maybe I need a *****slap to tell me I am just being selfish.
I do love my wife....but the intimacy and fun is long gone from our relationship.
I will never leave....and I will never cheat.....just wondering if I can make a change and do something.
Just wondering if anyone has some positive feedback for me.
Sorry if I am rambling.
She has health issues (diabetes and RA).
We rarely have sex. When we do (once every 2 months?) I finish too quick - because it's been so long. So I admit....it's not great when we do have sex (for her).
Valentine's day....no sex.....and I finally had a thought - I don't want to have sex with my wife.
So why?
1) Negative attitude
She never says "good morning" or tries to make the best out of the day. Yes, life has been hard the last 5 years. Her health, the economy has beat us down, and other life issues. But I figure, make the best of things. These are the cards we are dealt - they suck - but deal with them.
2) She is boring
After 27 years...sex gets a tad boring. I am not looking for a "hole"....I am looking for someone who will work with me to spice it up. Pardon the crudeness...but to lay there with your legs spread is not fun. It has cause me to have some performance issues. I never had these issues before, and I take meds that help to "prop up" the issue.
3) Lack of communication
When I have asked in the past what we can do....she says it's both our fault. And she is correct. I have become so apathetic about sex....I prefer masturbation to trying.
I am not saying another partner would be a better option....though it would be nice to have someone who cared as much about our sex life...and ergo....closeness.... as she does about the house being clean.
Through her sickness she has time to clean (it's not what you think...I would love a dirty house....she needs a show piece house)....get her nails done...watch tv....sew...and some other hobbies she enjoys.
I just never thought I would stop trying for sex with my wife.
And I have....stopped trying. I do not even bother. Flowers....dinners....jewelry.....paying the mortgage.....taking care of things around the house......vacuuming.....emptying the dishwasher.....trying to sit down and just talk......whether I do them or not....I never get a positive response.
I am rather shocked at my response and epiphany...if you will...about me no longer caring about sex with her.
Which is a shame.
She is very hot.
We are approaching 50 in a couple of years.
Is this the way couples go?
Am I a bad person for no longer trying?
I will re-state that her medical issues are the driving force in our life and relationship.
She feels bad almost daily and goes to the doctor about once a week. In addition....she take a large amount of vicodin that the doctor says she needs to maintain the pain threshold due to diabetic neurotropicthy she has developed.
Maybe I need a *****slap to tell me I am just being selfish.
I do love my wife....but the intimacy and fun is long gone from our relationship.
I will never leave....and I will never cheat.....just wondering if I can make a change and do something.
Just wondering if anyone has some positive feedback for me.
Sorry if I am rambling.
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