I have been reading this site for awhile, but finally registered today.
My story is long and complicated, and I don't have the emotional or mental energy to try to tell it all right now. Short version: my husband is the cheating spouse, stuck deep in rationalization and denial. He really does believe his own skewed version of the truth, including outright lies. Plenty of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and trickle-truth. Even though we are working on restoring our marriage and making some progress, he's got a foot in both worlds. Sometimes he is clear-headed and loving; other times, it's all no-accountability-it's-her-fault delusions. I am suffering beyond description.
I'm posting because I am DESPERATE to find a local therapist for my husband and me to see. Wasted time with two people who were absolutely not qualified to counsel us - and we were referred to them. Recently started working with someone who is not a MC and who is supposed to refer us to someone for ongoing therapy. He was very helpful at first, but has started talking in ways that make me suspect that he is perhaps the worst fit of all. My husband says he is willing to go back to therapy and work on healing and rebuilding. We HAVE to go to someone local using our insurance - out-of-pocket online or phone therapy sessions are not in the budget.
Really need to find someone who understand the dynamics of infidelity, who recognizes the behavior/thought patterns of the cheater. These two articles (one from this site) summarize what I believe infidelity is, and what it does to someone who has been betrayed. (I am absolutely in the same horrible shape as the woman in the first link below.) So I'm looking for a therapist who would read these, and say "of course - that's exactly my approach", not WTF:
http://ift.tt/1gFTtkQ
Myths of Infidelity | Psychology Today
Here's the hard part. I know these posts show up in searches and I don't know how to identify my location privately. I just googled "talking about marriage forum" and immediately found links to posts here. I'm trying to be open with my husband, but just don't feel safe enough yet to share more here. Is there a way to PM or something?
My story is long and complicated, and I don't have the emotional or mental energy to try to tell it all right now. Short version: my husband is the cheating spouse, stuck deep in rationalization and denial. He really does believe his own skewed version of the truth, including outright lies. Plenty of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and trickle-truth. Even though we are working on restoring our marriage and making some progress, he's got a foot in both worlds. Sometimes he is clear-headed and loving; other times, it's all no-accountability-it's-her-fault delusions. I am suffering beyond description.
I'm posting because I am DESPERATE to find a local therapist for my husband and me to see. Wasted time with two people who were absolutely not qualified to counsel us - and we were referred to them. Recently started working with someone who is not a MC and who is supposed to refer us to someone for ongoing therapy. He was very helpful at first, but has started talking in ways that make me suspect that he is perhaps the worst fit of all. My husband says he is willing to go back to therapy and work on healing and rebuilding. We HAVE to go to someone local using our insurance - out-of-pocket online or phone therapy sessions are not in the budget.
Really need to find someone who understand the dynamics of infidelity, who recognizes the behavior/thought patterns of the cheater. These two articles (one from this site) summarize what I believe infidelity is, and what it does to someone who has been betrayed. (I am absolutely in the same horrible shape as the woman in the first link below.) So I'm looking for a therapist who would read these, and say "of course - that's exactly my approach", not WTF:
http://ift.tt/1gFTtkQ
Myths of Infidelity | Psychology Today
Here's the hard part. I know these posts show up in searches and I don't know how to identify my location privately. I just googled "talking about marriage forum" and immediately found links to posts here. I'm trying to be open with my husband, but just don't feel safe enough yet to share more here. Is there a way to PM or something?
Put the internet to work for you.
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