Husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 7.5. We have 2 young kids. My husband has always been verbally abusive to me and was to our oldest child as well. He was physically abusive to me one time and would intimidate the kids with his size and voice. He found an email (does alot of snooping)I had written to a friend months ago confessing I wasn't happy in my marriage. He confronted me about it and I was very honest with him. I wasn't in love with him, I was tired of his behavior and actions and I had checked out emotionally months ago. In literally one night, he changed. Not as much yelling, wanting to spend time with the kids and I (something that never happened before), helping with chores, etc. Everything I have been asking from him since our problems began years ago. And it really bothers ,e that he wasn't willing to change until I had one foot out the door.
Fast forward to today: He reads the Bible constantly, praying often, reading books on saving a marriage,etc. I should be ecstatic right?? But I'm not. I'm miserable. I feel like his controlling behavior has shifted..in that 'God wants us to be together', 'what are the kids going to do with out us every day together?', 'we have to make this work'...all things he says/texts to me numerous times a day. I'm a little freaked out to be honest.
I've asked for a separation but he refuses to leave and does not want me to go. If it was just me, I would have left a long time ago. But I have the kids. We are in counseling and have joined a marriage group specializing in marital problems. But I just feel done. All these changes he has made are great and he is trying, but #1-I'm not sure how long 'he can keep up this new attitude' and #2-I don't love him despite the changes. He touches me and I step back or recoil. I don't love him, hate him..just feel nothing for him.
I want to get out but some ppl keep telling me to 'just wait, you don't really want to leave, give it time...'
I know what I want to do but scared to tell him. FWIW, he owns a lot of guns and his behavior is so manic, I don't know if he would use it on me or himself..He started medication per dr for depression/anxiety.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
Fast forward to today: He reads the Bible constantly, praying often, reading books on saving a marriage,etc. I should be ecstatic right?? But I'm not. I'm miserable. I feel like his controlling behavior has shifted..in that 'God wants us to be together', 'what are the kids going to do with out us every day together?', 'we have to make this work'...all things he says/texts to me numerous times a day. I'm a little freaked out to be honest.
I've asked for a separation but he refuses to leave and does not want me to go. If it was just me, I would have left a long time ago. But I have the kids. We are in counseling and have joined a marriage group specializing in marital problems. But I just feel done. All these changes he has made are great and he is trying, but #1-I'm not sure how long 'he can keep up this new attitude' and #2-I don't love him despite the changes. He touches me and I step back or recoil. I don't love him, hate him..just feel nothing for him.
I want to get out but some ppl keep telling me to 'just wait, you don't really want to leave, give it time...'
I know what I want to do but scared to tell him. FWIW, he owns a lot of guns and his behavior is so manic, I don't know if he would use it on me or himself..He started medication per dr for depression/anxiety.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
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