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please help..intimacy no longer exists..why doesnt he want me?

I have been married for 5years..my husband and I enjoyed a normal sex life..once/twice a week..we held hands..gave each other kisses after work..the past few months sex went from once a week to once every 2weeks ..now starting to go into once a month...when I try to initiate sex he turns me down...when I try to hold his hand now he speeds up...I go for a kiss and he turns his face to give me the cheek...I tried to talk to him about it but he gets explosivly angry..says all I think about is sex...I very gently tried to explain that it just isnt normal....I was smoking & drinking wine every once in a while..so I stopped doing that & started the ekectronic cigarette. .still nada..I have gained a few pounds -not much..I still get hit on at work & am desired by other men...why doesnt he want me? Its killing my self esteem not to mention our marriage..any advice would be appreciated

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