Hello everyone this is my first post and I have been lurking on and off with the last year on this site. Let me give you a brief history about my relationship. I am married to my beautiful wife for almost 10 years now been together for 12. We have 2 kids.
Our sex life I think is pretty boring. It's not the fact that I don't get any sex from her it's just the quality is below my expectations. When I met my wife she was very open sexually. We both have had very sexual past meaning that we have had multiple partners before we met. Before marriage she had a couple threesomes (no big deal to me) and I have seen her do some girl on girl with me watching. We use to go to strip clubs and have good times pre kids. Sex was ok then, toys were involved, and the light was looking pretty bright for our future to becoming more adventurous. Somewhere along the line I believe there was some infidelity along the lines but I'm not a detective and didn't have solid proof so I managed to deal with the accusing part. What's the point if you can't prove it so I just cope with it mentally? That's a whole other issue now back to the topic
Fast forward 10 years........
Like I said before our sex life to me is very plain and I have expressed this to her and explained the sex is pretty routine. I can give you a play by play how our scenario goes. We lie next to each other; rub each other to get warmed up she acts like she has an orgasm, me on top, finish in 2-5 min., then bed. Pretty boring. Lol. I sometimes ask "Do you want to do it again?" She says sure but not really interested about it so 99% of the time its bedtime. I'm still at full attention so going multiple times is no problem for me and I last longer if we could continue but she chooses not to proceed. Basically it is a one shot rule for me.
This has been our situation for a long time. I stopped giving her oral because she wouldn't give me oral. I like the saying "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours more" so a couple months ago I told her for the 100th time I'm not very happy about our sex life. This time she was concerned and listened because I was serious. I told her that I have sexually desires that are not getting fulfilled. I explained I wanted more foreplay meaning oral for both of us because it helps with what I consider PE, more affection, more positions, bring some toys back in the bedroom, lingerie, masturbate in front of me, and when we are finished having sex that she could help me finish the deed instead of me completing myself all the time. (For some reason she can't touch me after it was inside because its gross.) She agreed and said that she will try harder to make things better. Just to inform everyone I did not end the conversation with it being all about me. I asked her what I could work on and if there is anything I could do to make things better. She said she was happy and that everything she thought we were doing was fine. I then asked her if she could orgasm by vaginal penetration and she said she can't. So I told her that there are positions that could help with that. She didn't really seem concerned about it. Meanwhile during these conversations I get a feeling of uneasiness from her like we can't talk about sex and it seems kind of difficult.
So in the meantime the sex always gets a little better then fades back to the same routine after a couple sessions. Then we have another talk and it gets better for a little bit but back to normal. Although when I say better we do new things but she sighs sometimes when changing sex positions, jaw hurts during oral, not really into the sex in my opinion just doing things for my pleasure and not hers. Cunnilingus can only be performed with her legs together which is fine but very boring each and every time. I like to be very involved if you catch my drift. The other day I tried discussing sex and she didn't want to hear it and I said well you can't say I didn't try. That night I was surprised with stilettos when I came to bed which was great but she talked about her shoes more than enjoying the sex. I have also told her we should research things like books or videos to help make a great sex life and she insisted on that she doesn't have time for the time that and we can figure it out on our own. Even though she has time to look at amazon, or catch up on her shows. Which is completely fine, but if I have made the time to help build our relationship I thought she would make the effort too. I also advised us to meet with a marriage therapist, but she said we can make it work without spending the money. Since these discussions I have purchased some new things like a new vibrator, vibrating **** ring, and a liberator pillow (which was a very difficult task to get her to agree because it was weird to her). We now have used the pillow multiple times which we both enjoy but the **** ring feels good to her but weird so now it collects dust so does the g spot vibrator I bought. I would also like to mention I just purchased some lingerie (crotch less) to go along with her annual bra and panty sets that I buy each year for Christmas. That stuff will most likely collect dust as well. I figured I might as well lay everything out there since the ball is rolling. My opinion is communication is one of the most important features to any relationship. So discussing sex to me is a vital conversation that must be held once in a while.
I would also like to say that I'm a loving husband and father, I show affection to her without it being sexual, I cook, clean, help with with the kid, we workout daily at our gym, it is all good besides my issues with the sex. I would also like to say I have never cheated nor will I. I do find myself looking at other women sexually more than normal these days and wonder what they are capable of behind closed doors. Which I can't help since I'm lacking the pleasure at home.
So to conclude my rant I want to thank everyone for reading my post, and please feel free to give me your opinions (positive or negative) so I can figure out my goal which is to have a great sex life with my wife.
Thanks,
Juice
P.S. Maybe someday if all goes well I can get some backdoor action. :D
Our sex life I think is pretty boring. It's not the fact that I don't get any sex from her it's just the quality is below my expectations. When I met my wife she was very open sexually. We both have had very sexual past meaning that we have had multiple partners before we met. Before marriage she had a couple threesomes (no big deal to me) and I have seen her do some girl on girl with me watching. We use to go to strip clubs and have good times pre kids. Sex was ok then, toys were involved, and the light was looking pretty bright for our future to becoming more adventurous. Somewhere along the line I believe there was some infidelity along the lines but I'm not a detective and didn't have solid proof so I managed to deal with the accusing part. What's the point if you can't prove it so I just cope with it mentally? That's a whole other issue now back to the topic
Fast forward 10 years........
Like I said before our sex life to me is very plain and I have expressed this to her and explained the sex is pretty routine. I can give you a play by play how our scenario goes. We lie next to each other; rub each other to get warmed up she acts like she has an orgasm, me on top, finish in 2-5 min., then bed. Pretty boring. Lol. I sometimes ask "Do you want to do it again?" She says sure but not really interested about it so 99% of the time its bedtime. I'm still at full attention so going multiple times is no problem for me and I last longer if we could continue but she chooses not to proceed. Basically it is a one shot rule for me.
This has been our situation for a long time. I stopped giving her oral because she wouldn't give me oral. I like the saying "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours more" so a couple months ago I told her for the 100th time I'm not very happy about our sex life. This time she was concerned and listened because I was serious. I told her that I have sexually desires that are not getting fulfilled. I explained I wanted more foreplay meaning oral for both of us because it helps with what I consider PE, more affection, more positions, bring some toys back in the bedroom, lingerie, masturbate in front of me, and when we are finished having sex that she could help me finish the deed instead of me completing myself all the time. (For some reason she can't touch me after it was inside because its gross.) She agreed and said that she will try harder to make things better. Just to inform everyone I did not end the conversation with it being all about me. I asked her what I could work on and if there is anything I could do to make things better. She said she was happy and that everything she thought we were doing was fine. I then asked her if she could orgasm by vaginal penetration and she said she can't. So I told her that there are positions that could help with that. She didn't really seem concerned about it. Meanwhile during these conversations I get a feeling of uneasiness from her like we can't talk about sex and it seems kind of difficult.
So in the meantime the sex always gets a little better then fades back to the same routine after a couple sessions. Then we have another talk and it gets better for a little bit but back to normal. Although when I say better we do new things but she sighs sometimes when changing sex positions, jaw hurts during oral, not really into the sex in my opinion just doing things for my pleasure and not hers. Cunnilingus can only be performed with her legs together which is fine but very boring each and every time. I like to be very involved if you catch my drift. The other day I tried discussing sex and she didn't want to hear it and I said well you can't say I didn't try. That night I was surprised with stilettos when I came to bed which was great but she talked about her shoes more than enjoying the sex. I have also told her we should research things like books or videos to help make a great sex life and she insisted on that she doesn't have time for the time that and we can figure it out on our own. Even though she has time to look at amazon, or catch up on her shows. Which is completely fine, but if I have made the time to help build our relationship I thought she would make the effort too. I also advised us to meet with a marriage therapist, but she said we can make it work without spending the money. Since these discussions I have purchased some new things like a new vibrator, vibrating **** ring, and a liberator pillow (which was a very difficult task to get her to agree because it was weird to her). We now have used the pillow multiple times which we both enjoy but the **** ring feels good to her but weird so now it collects dust so does the g spot vibrator I bought. I would also like to mention I just purchased some lingerie (crotch less) to go along with her annual bra and panty sets that I buy each year for Christmas. That stuff will most likely collect dust as well. I figured I might as well lay everything out there since the ball is rolling. My opinion is communication is one of the most important features to any relationship. So discussing sex to me is a vital conversation that must be held once in a while.
I would also like to say that I'm a loving husband and father, I show affection to her without it being sexual, I cook, clean, help with with the kid, we workout daily at our gym, it is all good besides my issues with the sex. I would also like to say I have never cheated nor will I. I do find myself looking at other women sexually more than normal these days and wonder what they are capable of behind closed doors. Which I can't help since I'm lacking the pleasure at home.
So to conclude my rant I want to thank everyone for reading my post, and please feel free to give me your opinions (positive or negative) so I can figure out my goal which is to have a great sex life with my wife.
Thanks,
Juice
P.S. Maybe someday if all goes well I can get some backdoor action. :D
Put the internet to work for you.
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