My stbxh's alternate online lifeTo quickly sum up my impending divorce:-we were together 20+ years- he emotionally checked out of the relationship 5 years ago, yet after that he bought a house with me, we married, and had a baby- he blames everything about the demise of our relationship on me- I recently discovered that he had been having online sex for months before he left*- he is still living here, but hopefully moving out within the weekI'm not sure if I have a question here or if this is just I am looking for support or if this is a warning to anyone who is seeing this behavior in their spouse.My husband has an alternate online life. It has taken this divorce for me to realize how extensive it has become. He has been having an unknown number of EAs and he has a whole community of troll friends.I guess it started a couple of years ago, with just some humorous trolling on news sites. Then it became a serious hobby, he started spending hours online thro ughout the day. The he started getting banned from sites and cresting new accounts to continue his trolling.Then he was invited to join a troll chat site. I think he was proud that he had been invited to an exclusive club. While all of this was happening, I joked with him that it was a little weird, but it seemed harmless.*Then we had our daughter and I was distracted by caring for her, and stopped paying attention to the status of his online behavior.When my daughter was 4 months old, I returned to work part tine and when she was 6 months old, I returned full time. Because my husband owns his own business, the plan was always for him to watch our daughter during the day and then work at night.*When I returned to work, whenever I would return home or observe him taking care of her, he was often online on the laptop or on his phone. So often, in fact, I started making comments to him about ir just flat out asking him what he was doing and could he try and engage with his real life. He would always kind of scowl at me, like I was bring a nag.This continued for months and then a few months ago, he started coming home from work and getting online right away and staying online until the early hours of the morning. I have to get up at 430am, so I would always put my daughter to bed and go to bed early. I would sometimes wake up and go out to the living room to find him online and ask him what he was doing. He always said that he couldn't sleep. Little did I know that he was having online sex with women.So, this continued up until the day that he told me he was leaving.*He said he was leaving because I have ruined his life and my controlling behavior has left him isolated.*It has taken me while to put it all together, but the discovery of his online sexual encounters helped me with this puzzle.*I think that he is having a major mid life crisis that was brought on by the birth of our daughter, the move to being a stay at home dad, and this alternate on line existence where he has sought validation and affection outside of our real life marriage.*I'm devastated to be losing my family as I thought it would be.has anyone had an experience like this? Where you've lost your spouse to the online experience?
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