Yesterday, our 5 year anniversary of our 1st date, we decided to go out "as a family"...
I slept through my alarm and my hubby woke me...when I spoke to him later about it..(ie,, sorry my alarm woke him)..he was "SEVERELY DISTRESSED" that i didn't wake...and WHAT IF THIS WAS A FIRE ALARM?
Then I went to get my son, whose diaper was full. When I brought him to see daddy (briefly) before I changed him, the diaper had crystallized b/c it was super-saturated...and started falling out of the sleeve of his pants....my hubby had a fit! never saw this before and coudln't believe he had slept in piss! I told him I was getting ready to change him.
I cleaned the mess up off the floor and he cleaned my son.
But...part of a shirt I had laid out for my son had gotten some fo the crystallized "urine" on it.
My H mentioned it to me...in an aggravated voice...then I brushed the paraticle off and it went onto the bed...my H started screaming: "Oh..so it's OKAY for him to WEAR PISS ON HIS SHIRT?? AND IT'S OKAY TO BRUSH IT ON OUR BED WHERE WE SLEEP? AND IT'S OKAY FOR US TO NOT HAVE A COMFORTER THAT HASN'T BEEN PROFESIONALLY CLEANED IN YEARS???"
Out of nowhere....
I started crying.
He didn't know "why" I was crying.
In front of our son. Who said, "Mommy sad?" and I said, "yeah...mommy sad."
Then I told my H...."I am so hurt...you really hurt my feelings....and I am doing the BEST I can with our son...and I need your help and support and I don't feel I have it...lastly, I need you to be kinder.."
He walked away.
I got ready and then approached him and said, "I'm sorry I cried in front of our son."
He looked at me and said, "So..I shouldn't say anythign then if there's Urine on our son's clothes???"
I said, "You don't have to be so MEAN......I felt attacked and didn't feel like I did anything RIGHT......and I need you to be kinder...I'll get the comforter washed tomorrow."
He said, "It escalated b/c you thought it was OKAY to brush something like URINE on the bed.."
Honestly, I was just so PANICKED when he spoke to me in such a mean way...I wasn't thinking clearly.......I wanted to say that, but he says that's an excuse.
I called my therapist later.
SHe told me that I NEED to hammer home that it's okay to be angry, but he needs to be KINDER and that his ANGER is having a detrimental affect on my feelings.
Thoughts?
I slept through my alarm and my hubby woke me...when I spoke to him later about it..(ie,, sorry my alarm woke him)..he was "SEVERELY DISTRESSED" that i didn't wake...and WHAT IF THIS WAS A FIRE ALARM?
Then I went to get my son, whose diaper was full. When I brought him to see daddy (briefly) before I changed him, the diaper had crystallized b/c it was super-saturated...and started falling out of the sleeve of his pants....my hubby had a fit! never saw this before and coudln't believe he had slept in piss! I told him I was getting ready to change him.
I cleaned the mess up off the floor and he cleaned my son.
But...part of a shirt I had laid out for my son had gotten some fo the crystallized "urine" on it.
My H mentioned it to me...in an aggravated voice...then I brushed the paraticle off and it went onto the bed...my H started screaming: "Oh..so it's OKAY for him to WEAR PISS ON HIS SHIRT?? AND IT'S OKAY TO BRUSH IT ON OUR BED WHERE WE SLEEP? AND IT'S OKAY FOR US TO NOT HAVE A COMFORTER THAT HASN'T BEEN PROFESIONALLY CLEANED IN YEARS???"
Out of nowhere....
I started crying.
He didn't know "why" I was crying.
In front of our son. Who said, "Mommy sad?" and I said, "yeah...mommy sad."
Then I told my H...."I am so hurt...you really hurt my feelings....and I am doing the BEST I can with our son...and I need your help and support and I don't feel I have it...lastly, I need you to be kinder.."
He walked away.
I got ready and then approached him and said, "I'm sorry I cried in front of our son."
He looked at me and said, "So..I shouldn't say anythign then if there's Urine on our son's clothes???"
I said, "You don't have to be so MEAN......I felt attacked and didn't feel like I did anything RIGHT......and I need you to be kinder...I'll get the comforter washed tomorrow."
He said, "It escalated b/c you thought it was OKAY to brush something like URINE on the bed.."
Honestly, I was just so PANICKED when he spoke to me in such a mean way...I wasn't thinking clearly.......I wanted to say that, but he says that's an excuse.
I called my therapist later.
SHe told me that I NEED to hammer home that it's okay to be angry, but he needs to be KINDER and that his ANGER is having a detrimental affect on my feelings.
Thoughts?
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