I've been posting here saying that I'm over him and doing well. I discovered that I've actually been self-medicating for the past 3 years so I never dealt with my true feelings. I'm clean now so all the crap is coming back, on top of which I work with him.
I had a freak-out the other day. I discovered that his girlfriend works out right across the street from the new store I am opening. I asked the ex to tell her to go somewhere else because I can't handle seeing her. Especially since she is driving what used to be my mom's car (our company bought it and he allows her to use it. That's a whole other issue.) I hope she honours my wish. I truly don't know what I would do if I saw her. On top of that, my ex is telling me that he's not happy. He said it would make him happy to see me happy. How messed up is that?!?! I know it's totally dysfunctional and probably co-dependant. But I still love him. HELP!! I have to figure out how not to love him.
So here I am, at square one even though it's been 3 years. A piece of advice, DON"T self-medicate. The only way to deal with your emotions is to deal with them head on. The self-medicating snuck up on me because I suffer from chronic pain. Thankfully I've been able to reduce my consumption of the pills. But I am struggling with the hurt and pain that is coming up.
I am so grateful for this website because I know it will get me through this next step in letting go.
I had a freak-out the other day. I discovered that his girlfriend works out right across the street from the new store I am opening. I asked the ex to tell her to go somewhere else because I can't handle seeing her. Especially since she is driving what used to be my mom's car (our company bought it and he allows her to use it. That's a whole other issue.) I hope she honours my wish. I truly don't know what I would do if I saw her. On top of that, my ex is telling me that he's not happy. He said it would make him happy to see me happy. How messed up is that?!?! I know it's totally dysfunctional and probably co-dependant. But I still love him. HELP!! I have to figure out how not to love him.
So here I am, at square one even though it's been 3 years. A piece of advice, DON"T self-medicate. The only way to deal with your emotions is to deal with them head on. The self-medicating snuck up on me because I suffer from chronic pain. Thankfully I've been able to reduce my consumption of the pills. But I am struggling with the hurt and pain that is coming up.
I am so grateful for this website because I know it will get me through this next step in letting go.
Put the internet to work for you.
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