Hello,
I think I just want to talk some things through. My husband and I have been together for a long time, married almost 20 years.
I haven't caught him cheating as in actually having sex but there seems to be a lot of emotional cheating.
The most recent incident happened a couple of weeks ago. He has to go out of town for work and he did not want to tell me who he was going with at first. When I asked again he hesitantly told me everyone going. It was the way he said the first name that threw up the red flags. He swore nothing is going on but I've check the phone records and they have been chatting and texting a bit to much for just co workers and always when he is on the way home or while we are away at the kids activities.
I would never say my husband wouldn't cheat, I've never been one of those women to say that but I'm frustrated that I can't really get the concrete info. He says the calls/text are work related, yeah, what else is he going to say? And I'm so pissed and disappointed because he has to go on this trip. I can't believe they are stupid enough to start anything on one hand and on the other it's the perfect set up because they both have A LOT to lose. He said you can call and ask her and I said what I said above. She has just as much to lose as you, you think she is going to tell me yeah we are having an emotional affair?
I can't believe I have to stoop so low as to get a voice recorder to try and figure out some kind of way to get it in his bag for this trip but I've done it.
I'm embarrassed because it's nothing worse than an office romance and you go there and they sit there like nothing is going on and disappointed.
He hasn't changed much, he still says he loves me all the time. I'm the best thing that's happened to him. He can't say it's sex because we still have sex at least 3 times a week. And the things that kills me is the girl is no where near his type. We laugh and talk all the time. I mean we are still wrestling on the floor like little kids. He really is my best friend and I asked him what on earth are you looking for that you are not getting? I married young early and he is a few years older than me. But I could help but tell him to grow up. I know it should but like I told him something has got your attention and since physically she is not your type it's mental and I think in a way that is worse.
This isn't his first time doing this. He got busted 2 years ago for this same sort of things and I found out he talk with the girl for over 7 years. The only saving grace (or maybe not) is he has never been out of town and I watch our bank account like a hawk so whoever he gets they must not ask him for a dime. Not saying she has never come here. With his job I can't just pop up if he says he is staying late or had to leave for a while, I have to believe him because he doesn't have to be in his office. He has amble ways to cheat so I will never be able to keep up.
One girl invited him to her house for dinner. I've had a man call me because he said his wife was talking to him...at my home! Like I told the man, the only thing I can assure you of is that he hasn't been out of state so she would have had to come here. So I don't know any more than you.
I'm soooo tempted to tell her husband or talk to her but it will not be pretty if I do. Things will spiral out of control quickly for both of them personally and professionally.
My issue I think is I'm considering divorce. I'm sick of it and I don't want to do this every 2 years. I'm tired. I told him the trust is gone even if you will not say you all having something going I'm not stupid and don't treat me like I am. Now they have this trip and I've been worrying myself sick on thinking what will happen.
So anything you all can do to help would be nice.
Thanks for listening (well reading :) ).
I think I just want to talk some things through. My husband and I have been together for a long time, married almost 20 years.
I haven't caught him cheating as in actually having sex but there seems to be a lot of emotional cheating.
The most recent incident happened a couple of weeks ago. He has to go out of town for work and he did not want to tell me who he was going with at first. When I asked again he hesitantly told me everyone going. It was the way he said the first name that threw up the red flags. He swore nothing is going on but I've check the phone records and they have been chatting and texting a bit to much for just co workers and always when he is on the way home or while we are away at the kids activities.
I would never say my husband wouldn't cheat, I've never been one of those women to say that but I'm frustrated that I can't really get the concrete info. He says the calls/text are work related, yeah, what else is he going to say? And I'm so pissed and disappointed because he has to go on this trip. I can't believe they are stupid enough to start anything on one hand and on the other it's the perfect set up because they both have A LOT to lose. He said you can call and ask her and I said what I said above. She has just as much to lose as you, you think she is going to tell me yeah we are having an emotional affair?
I can't believe I have to stoop so low as to get a voice recorder to try and figure out some kind of way to get it in his bag for this trip but I've done it.
I'm embarrassed because it's nothing worse than an office romance and you go there and they sit there like nothing is going on and disappointed.
He hasn't changed much, he still says he loves me all the time. I'm the best thing that's happened to him. He can't say it's sex because we still have sex at least 3 times a week. And the things that kills me is the girl is no where near his type. We laugh and talk all the time. I mean we are still wrestling on the floor like little kids. He really is my best friend and I asked him what on earth are you looking for that you are not getting? I married young early and he is a few years older than me. But I could help but tell him to grow up. I know it should but like I told him something has got your attention and since physically she is not your type it's mental and I think in a way that is worse.
This isn't his first time doing this. He got busted 2 years ago for this same sort of things and I found out he talk with the girl for over 7 years. The only saving grace (or maybe not) is he has never been out of town and I watch our bank account like a hawk so whoever he gets they must not ask him for a dime. Not saying she has never come here. With his job I can't just pop up if he says he is staying late or had to leave for a while, I have to believe him because he doesn't have to be in his office. He has amble ways to cheat so I will never be able to keep up.
One girl invited him to her house for dinner. I've had a man call me because he said his wife was talking to him...at my home! Like I told the man, the only thing I can assure you of is that he hasn't been out of state so she would have had to come here. So I don't know any more than you.
I'm soooo tempted to tell her husband or talk to her but it will not be pretty if I do. Things will spiral out of control quickly for both of them personally and professionally.
My issue I think is I'm considering divorce. I'm sick of it and I don't want to do this every 2 years. I'm tired. I told him the trust is gone even if you will not say you all having something going I'm not stupid and don't treat me like I am. Now they have this trip and I've been worrying myself sick on thinking what will happen.
So anything you all can do to help would be nice.
Thanks for listening (well reading :) ).
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