So, I learned that one of my very good friends (who helped me get through discovering my former spouse's affair this past spring and the divorce this summer) will meet the OW for the first time this weekend. They will be in the same city and will all be going out to dinner together. My friend is trying her best to stay neutral because she wants to keep both of our friendships, but she also knows everything from my perspective and feels very guilty and conflicted. I was upset, of course, but I know that I have to accept reality: we're no longer married and my FWS lives with the OW. Our friends need to negotiate that new reality as well.
But them all going out to dinner together seems to make them legitimate in a way that bothers me.
I know that some of you have to deal with the OW spending time with / parenting your children, which seems like a giant bucket of vomit and is much worse, but how does one deal with mutual friendship? Or even with the affair becoming a "legitimate" relationship in general?
Do I just keep telling myself it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter? That all of this is no longer relevant to me? That we can have mutual friends and it's ok?
I already have plans for the night when they'll all be out together, so that's good. I think I just need to keep my mind off of it.
Any thoughts are appreciated.
But them all going out to dinner together seems to make them legitimate in a way that bothers me.
I know that some of you have to deal with the OW spending time with / parenting your children, which seems like a giant bucket of vomit and is much worse, but how does one deal with mutual friendship? Or even with the affair becoming a "legitimate" relationship in general?
Do I just keep telling myself it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter? That all of this is no longer relevant to me? That we can have mutual friends and it's ok?
I already have plans for the night when they'll all be out together, so that's good. I think I just need to keep my mind off of it.
Any thoughts are appreciated.
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