My YL and I have been married over thirty years. Now, we have some big decisions to make - and they're of the type that could make the difference between living together ... or not.
Our marriage in the beginning was normal, but slowed substantially about four or five years in, and then became completely platonic about sixteen/seventeen years ago. I've learned to deal with the lack of physical affection. Being with her has been generally a positive thing for me. I'm a little bit of an introvert, but don't like being completely alone. With her, I'm not completely alone. She's highly intelligent, and (when the moon phase is just right and she isn't angry with me) - she is a good conversationalist. Also, she just seems to be a "good" person (hard to find these days). We have a very lengthy shared history, and it would seem wrong to be away from her. I still love her - sans physical, of course. She's a stable thing in my otherwise unstable life.
I always thought that her need to avoid physical contact was basically due to a lack of hormones, something that she can't do anything about. We have a big decision looming, and I would like the chosen path that sprouts from that decision to be such that she stays with me. As the decision approaches, she has been getting decidedly cooler. It's almost as if she is preparing herself for taking a separate path, and is using "the decision" as an excuse.
The other day, I discovered a bump on the back of my head. I asked her to look at it (thinking it might be a mole, and wondering if it should be a cause for concern). She said "I'm not a doctor, and I really don't want to be that close to you!" She refused to look at it.
That really doesn't sound like a hormone-only thing, does it? Could she really be that adverse to physical closeness? (I haven't seen her naked in twenty years). Things have been on and off, on and off for many years. Lately, things had gotten better (although still non-physical) ... but "the decision" looming ahead seems to be taking us backwards again.
Our marriage in the beginning was normal, but slowed substantially about four or five years in, and then became completely platonic about sixteen/seventeen years ago. I've learned to deal with the lack of physical affection. Being with her has been generally a positive thing for me. I'm a little bit of an introvert, but don't like being completely alone. With her, I'm not completely alone. She's highly intelligent, and (when the moon phase is just right and she isn't angry with me) - she is a good conversationalist. Also, she just seems to be a "good" person (hard to find these days). We have a very lengthy shared history, and it would seem wrong to be away from her. I still love her - sans physical, of course. She's a stable thing in my otherwise unstable life.
I always thought that her need to avoid physical contact was basically due to a lack of hormones, something that she can't do anything about. We have a big decision looming, and I would like the chosen path that sprouts from that decision to be such that she stays with me. As the decision approaches, she has been getting decidedly cooler. It's almost as if she is preparing herself for taking a separate path, and is using "the decision" as an excuse.
The other day, I discovered a bump on the back of my head. I asked her to look at it (thinking it might be a mole, and wondering if it should be a cause for concern). She said "I'm not a doctor, and I really don't want to be that close to you!" She refused to look at it.
That really doesn't sound like a hormone-only thing, does it? Could she really be that adverse to physical closeness? (I haven't seen her naked in twenty years). Things have been on and off, on and off for many years. Lately, things had gotten better (although still non-physical) ... but "the decision" looming ahead seems to be taking us backwards again.
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