| Hello all, My WW and I have been married for just under 4 years, been together for 6, no kids, late 20s. Then about 6 weeks ago, she had a 'catch-up' with her an ex-bf and they kissed or something and my WW became 'confused'. We had a rough week where she didn't know what she was going to do, but at the end of the week, she decided that she didn't want to stay with me. However, she came back later that DAY and said she made a mistake and would never leave me and that we're soul mates and that she would never talk to OM again. For the next little bit we were trying to make it work, but she started texting him again and wanting to be left alone more (which has never been the case, we could and would actually spend 24/7 together without getting on each others nerves). I confronted her about it and she said he was just texting to apologize and to talk about how stupid they were. Suuuuuure.... :rolleyes:. It kept going on after I talked to her about it, so I confronted her again after a couple of days and said that she wasn't putting the effort in the save the marriage, and that if she couldn't stop contacting him that I wasn't going to be there anymore. We talked all night, and even though our marriage was doing well before OM showed up, according to her, we had started drifting apart... :scratchhead: . She was very remorseful and it was a cry-fest, but I decided I couldn't stay there. So now we're separated. After about a week or so, I told her that if she wanted to R, I was sure we could get some help and work through this. She said thanks, but this is what she wants. That kind of hit me in the face for some reason. Since this is what she wanted, I decided to give her all the responsibilities of freedom: I put all of the bills in her name, moved out all of my things, I don't talk to her except for practical things, and she now has to take care of our 3 dogs full-time. We've been separated for about a month, and she called me 2 weeks ago and told me that she misses me, to which I replied with "Okay." I've had to go back to our house a couple times to grab some things I forgot, and I kept seeing little bits of evidence of OM. It looks as though she just did the old switcheroo and is moving forward with him. I know statistically her affair won't last, but I don't want to rest my expectations on that assumption. I can't change anything about that past, but what do I do now? I guess I just move on and work on myself? Any advice? | |||
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