| I originally posted this in Reconciliation because that is our current focus but it was pointed out that it would make more sense here. Such a long story, I don't know where to start. I just know I need to hear from people who have been there. To make is as short as possible the run down is this: I found out at the beginning of July that my husband was having an EA with a "lady" he met at work. Apparently they started as friends, he felt like he was able to "talk to her" and whatever... (i.e. ***** about me and how awful I am sure that I am). He originally lied to me and told me that he was talking to a man as the number was in his phone under a man's name. It didn't sit well with me and I have a very keen instinct (that I really hate sometimes). Well, I called the number and they didn't answer, they called back and I answered his phone, it was *shocking* a woman. She told me a fake name said they were just friends etc etc. He said he didn't love me anymore and that he has been unhappy for 2-3 years and then that morphed in to 4 years (coincidence that this is the year his dad died?). We are in counseling. He was initially very cold and distant but has almost pulled a 180 and it is messing with me... hard. He has c onfessed to trying to kiss her and it was a "peck half on the mouth and half off". When I first heard that I told him he had a week to get out, but stepped back and decided that I can actually work through that. He said she just wanted to "be friends". Even last week before our 2nd MC session he was cold one day, decent the next. We had decided to try to work it out and become friends again and reevaluate at a later time. Well, I have been VERY careful about how I say things, how I react to things, we haven't bickered but maybe twice in a month (not normal). I have been putting more effort in to keeping our house up, he has as well. We have been spending a lot of time together talking, hangout, having sex (is that normal?), even the other night when I questioned him about the possibility that OW is trying to "talk" to him through craigslist personals. I asked all the questions I had, he is still swearing that he has not spoken to her since I told him the only way I would even try to keep this family together is if he cut all ties. He was not defensive or mean or any of his other typical "busted" behavior. He has looked at the posts on CL but if he has tried to contact her, it is in a way I don't know. I know he saw them bec ause it was in his history. I am a little stalkerish at the moment. I am trying not to be. ANYWAY, I know this is a giant piece of swiss cheese and is about as erratic as it can be. As is my brain but what I want to know is HOLY CRAP, how long is this going to make me a basket case? I am FINE one minute and in tears the next. One day I am in it 100% and I am going to fight as hard as I can for this family (we have 3 kids, 12, 5, 3) and then the next day I just don't want to put the effort in. I can't handle this up and down very well. It is affecting my job performance and I have only been in this very training intensive position for a little over 2 months. I have looked over the 180 but I am not sure it really applies to our situation. I have tried to stop texting him as much but his texting, when we are apart, has intensified over the last week. I am lost, confused, injured, etc. I just need to hear from someone that knows when it is like to be here and tell me how hard it is to "level" out again. I have never been on drugs but I feel like I am now... it is ridiculous. (again, apologies for the whacky post, I cannnot think in a linear fashion right now). Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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