My wife didn't love me

Hi All, any advice gratefully accepted! I've been in a relationship with my wife for 21 years (16 years of that married with two kids). 7 months into our relationship, she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. I found out and we had some issues but she led me to believe that it was just a mistake. 21 years later and I've found out that she lied to me about being in love with me back then. She was still in love with her ex and she was just stringing me along, although she says she was fond of me. She also got me involved with her ex's family- parties, get togethers etc etc and even called our first child after her ex's grandparent AND our second childs godparents are her ex's parents. It may sound obvious to all but I just didn't see what was going on, that she couldn't let go of her ex and his family. I now feel like a complete fool. My wife says i should just get over it but i can't. Any advice?

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