I need support on this one.... I'm losing it :-(

This upcoming weekend is my birthday. My plan was to spend the time by myself and recharge in prep for the upcoming court date. Yesterday, STBXH and I had a crazy argument over...well EVERYTHING. Basically, our marriage is due to me only thinking about myself, my career (mind you, I've been home most of our marriage with the kids), or...me CHOOSING to be a SAHM and forcing him into poverty, or me CHOOSING to suggest a move to another city in order to be closer to family, for career opps, et al. or...me....NEVER hearing him, NEVER doing well nothing and everything,....basically, it was all me. And by default, his crappy behavior was merely a RESPONSE from all of my many faults in the marriage. Ironcially, he's now speaking to his mother and sister again. Both of whom he frequently admits to not wanting a relationship with, yet is now speaking to again...:scratchhead: These two never really liked me because according to them, I was horrible and mean...but, both of them have a very odd and almost incestuous relationship with my H ("he chose his wife over us", "he never loved us like that", "she's [me] horrible, and you're such a wonderful man, who was used and hurt by her [me].") Great, whatever! After having this sparing match, I just caved. he then asked "do you want to come to [vacation] with the kids and me?" I was dumbfounded. Then he asked my kids, "do you all want mommy to go on vacation with us?" WTF??? 1- I do NOT want to go! Not because I don't want to be with my kids, yet I don't want to be with HIM. 2- I believe he's using my kids to manipulate me. 3- If I do not go, I'm sure he'll turn this around to mean, "She doesn't even want to be with you all on her birthday!" Tomorrow, I'm contacting my attny. I will ask, straight-up, if LEGALLY it's a good idea that I go. This way, he can't later turn it around on me to my kids.. What's funny, is that I asked him "If you were so unhappy with me, then why did you not DIVORCE ME?" He gave a lame excuse about being "in love with the concept of M." I'm so done with this crap, I just want out. Advice?

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