This is bothering the Hell out of me. Need some ladies' opinions.

Okay...married for 18 years. She's from a different country but we met in America. We have had MANY rough patches. Her culture doesn't communicate very well and I'm a stoic WASP...so communication was ALWAYS a problem. Frankly, at times we have made ourselves miserable. I got involved with an EA (which I have since dropped). We have three kids. I suggested counseling regularly (even though I think it mostly a crock) but obviously she hates it even more. The spectre of D raised it's head long overdue and that shocked both of us into talking. I am a traveling dad. Even with my old job, I was frequently gone for 5 days at a time. She pushed rather hard for me to take up this career (Ladies, be careful what you wish for). So the burden of the household falls upon her. But I make pretty good money. She keeps throwing out "My kids have no idea how much I sacrificed for them." I do not know how to take this. If FEELS terribly offensive to me...like I'm some odious burden she's saddled herself with for 'the kids'. Every time she says it, I want to scream. Her situation isn't wonderful. She's a single mom who some guy come into her life regularly messing up her schedules. She says she loves me...but I have no idea how to address THIS specific problem. Many times in our marriage, she's made me feel like I was this horrible mistake she's made. That is rather painful. I've tried to address it once or twice, but I am not sure exactly how she feels...and in some ways, I'm resentful. I've tried very hard to give her exactly what she's wanted...but it isn't good enough. She said it again yesterday and now I'm coming to TAM about this. I am not a perfect husband...but to be made to feel like I've ruined everything...that is a heavy burden of guilt to bear.

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