I have been with my girlfriend (in our twenties) for a year and love her to bits - she's the best thing that has happened to me and I want us to be together forever. There is no issue, but there have been a handful (i.e. rare) of occasions where I have smelt her BO in public (i.e. not talking about when our clothes are off and my nose is in her armpit). The reason for this is because she doesn't wear deodorant, I guess this is just the sort of things that your parents either tell you to do or don't. Genuinely, this does not bother me at all. I really don't care whether she wears deodorant, the occasional slight smell does not bother me and I would rather she enjoys herself than be self-conscious about this. Having said that, I do care that it could affect her in life. She is moving into the world of work and having job interviews etc. - I really don't want this to hold her up, but think that this is something that some people could notice and judge on from time to time. So after agonising on it, I have made the decision to tell her that recently I have smelt BO on a handful of occasions and suggest that if she wears deodorant she would get rid of any possible problems, although it does not bother me in the slightest.
The issue is how she would react to being told this. I have asked her why she doesn't wear deodorant before and she said she wears perfume instead, I said I thought girls wear both, and she said "really? meh" and the conversation kind of ended. A month ago, when I could smell a bit of BO, I jokingly told her that she smelt a bit sweaty. I guess understandably, this upset her. It turns out that she was bullied about this as a child, although it was in a more racist way. I told her that this was just stupid kids being racist, and when I said it I was just saying it because it's been a hot, long day and we're probably both a bit sweaty. Also, she admits herself that she does not take criticism well and it makes her very upset, especially when it is from someone close to her. She can close off from other people when she is upset and just feel miserable. She asked for a break before when she was really upset with herself (not to do with me), although took it back a few hours later and apologised for being a bit hysterical.
In light of this, I am really worried about telling her. Obviously I will tell her in the nicest way possible and emphasise that I don't care but I am just worried as she starts working etc. However, I know, understandably, that it will really upset her. I just hope that it doesn't affect our relationship.
I am posting to ask for some advice on this. How do you think she will feel when I tell her? What will she be thinking? And do you think it could affect our relationship?
I would be really grateful for any response as it will make a difference on how upset my girlfriend will be.
tl;dr - going to suggest to gf that she wears deodorant. She has been bullied about smell as a child. How bad will it be?
Thanks!
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