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Forgiveness - Tips for Getting There

I have a long and complex story, but I'm separating, for good, from my ex in a month when I can move into a new house. We divorced in 2010 and reconciled last spring. He's destroying our family yet again.

I did finally come to a place of forgiving him in 2013, and I LOVED that feeling, finally. It was genuine and SO freeing. Unfortunately it opened the door for him to come back in and I was tricked.

I want so badly to come to a place of forgiveness again, not for him, but for me, but I know I'm a long way off this time around. I know it will eventually come though.

If you've been successful in forgiving and moving on, or if you are working toward forgiveness, is there any advice you can give for what works?

I'm a Christian so I do try to look at my ex through God's eyes and God's love. But I'm not God. I'm not perfect. Today I started hand writing/copying the book of Ephesians, replacing all of the "our" words and specific names with "me" and "my" to make it more personal (my sister's suggestion, for my own healing/self esteem). While doing it, I was wondering if there would be a benefit in doing that same exercise and replacing my ex's name in there. Would it soften my heart and let forgiveness in? (Even if he never asks for it, which he probably will not).

Just looking for ideas. I don't like carrying bitterness and resentment in my heart, but it's firmly grounded there right now :(.

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