Help please! This has blown up twice now since I've been with my wife. She came home yesterday with a completely different hairstyle- which is her choice and completely fine- but I hate it and find it very unflattering. This puts me in a no win situation- do I lie and say I like it? Tell the truth in a polite constructive way and deal with those consequences- or just try to avoid the subject which makes her think I don't care or that I hate it?
She is very sensitive about her appearance and is lacking some confidence right now due to gaining weight from some meds she's been on- and I don't want to make it worse by being critical- but I just can't lie and say I like something that looks very unflattering on her. She's concerned about her appearance after gaining weight, but she went from a very stylish sexy current sophisticated look with longer straight hair- to a boxy outdated shorter cut with bangs that frames her face in a way that makes her look much heavier in the face than she is. I guess my reaction when I saw her last night was obvious- but I told her that if that's how she likes her hair that she should be confident and go with it. She said the most important thing is that I like it- which doesn't make sense to me. She knew I loved her hair the way it was- and she went for a drastic change. Her hair- her choice- but it doesn't mean I have to like it.
I love her regardless of her hair- but I don't know how to discuss this without having it blow up. I see it that if she chooses to drastically change the way she looks without seeking my input- then she should be confident and own it without worrying what I think. And if she's so concerned and potentially devastated that I may not like it- that she should ask my opinion on a new style first. Just a disclaimer- I'm not saying she should have to check with me first- but if you're going for a drastic change- then be confident and take the stance of who the hell cares if someone else doesn't like it.
Make sense? And please help. We barely spoke last night. She pushed and pushed for my opinion on it after I was trying to stay away from the subject- and all I ended up saying was that she should be happy with it if that's the way she wants it- and while it wouldn't have been my first choice- she should be happy with having it how she wants it. That blew up- and she got very upset. I don't feel like I said anything horrible- and would never have said that if I wasn't pushed for a comment- but I just couldn't lie and say I loved it when I don't.
She is very sensitive about her appearance and is lacking some confidence right now due to gaining weight from some meds she's been on- and I don't want to make it worse by being critical- but I just can't lie and say I like something that looks very unflattering on her. She's concerned about her appearance after gaining weight, but she went from a very stylish sexy current sophisticated look with longer straight hair- to a boxy outdated shorter cut with bangs that frames her face in a way that makes her look much heavier in the face than she is. I guess my reaction when I saw her last night was obvious- but I told her that if that's how she likes her hair that she should be confident and go with it. She said the most important thing is that I like it- which doesn't make sense to me. She knew I loved her hair the way it was- and she went for a drastic change. Her hair- her choice- but it doesn't mean I have to like it.
I love her regardless of her hair- but I don't know how to discuss this without having it blow up. I see it that if she chooses to drastically change the way she looks without seeking my input- then she should be confident and own it without worrying what I think. And if she's so concerned and potentially devastated that I may not like it- that she should ask my opinion on a new style first. Just a disclaimer- I'm not saying she should have to check with me first- but if you're going for a drastic change- then be confident and take the stance of who the hell cares if someone else doesn't like it.
Make sense? And please help. We barely spoke last night. She pushed and pushed for my opinion on it after I was trying to stay away from the subject- and all I ended up saying was that she should be happy with it if that's the way she wants it- and while it wouldn't have been my first choice- she should be happy with having it how she wants it. That blew up- and she got very upset. I don't feel like I said anything horrible- and would never have said that if I wasn't pushed for a comment- but I just couldn't lie and say I loved it when I don't.
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