So, our 14 year old, like most kids his age, has a tablet (no cell phone, though!). He actually has two - his own, and a school-provided one (iPad) that is supposed to be used for school work, in class, etc.
Although we've routinely told him the iPad is for school only, and is provided by them for this and this alone, we're constantly fighting with him to use his own for personal use.
As such, we monitor what he does on this tablet (as well as his personal one, of course, but mainly the school-provided one). He knows we monitor it. We, as well as the school, have warned him and all students about inappropriate usage of the internet, tablets and cell phones especially in regards to... personal photos.
So I was going through his iPad today, and saw several photos that I would very much like to unsee. There were a number of pictures that he and a 15 year old girl were sending back and forth recently. Although I knew darn well that at some point through our monitoring of his internet and tablet activities we'd likely see something like this, I was still in shock. The photos he sent did not include his face (so at least there's that), however the photos from the girl did.
My wife and I have tried to imprint upon him that these things don't disappear. And they were sent from, and stored on, a school-owned device, to boot.
So. I feel some sort of obligation to contact this girls parents and let them know what their daughter has been sending to my son, and vice versa. However, I am not sure this is the right move. I'm a man and in my late 30's, and I have now unfortunately seen photos of somebody's 15 year old daughter, which is... awkward. My wife would be better suited for this, as I imagine the embarrassment factor would be lessened by her being a woman. However she can not bring herself to do this. We do not know this girl, nor her parents, but they apparently go to the same school, and I imagine they wouldn't be hard to find.
What would you do? Leave it alone, or contact her parents? I feel like it's the right thing to do, but I also would feel like I'm overstepping my boundaries. I also have to consider my stepson in this as well, not just for any repercussions at school, but, as I said, we do not know this girls parents. He is just as culpable in this is as she is. The last thing we'd want is for her to have an older brother who might beat him up or something. Or her dad...
I'm telling you, parenting in this day and age is NOT the same as when I was 14. The worst thing your parents ever saw was if they walked in on you while you were busy. Some embarrassment for a little while, and it went away. Seeing pictures or video is scarring to parents. And that type of thing stays out there, can be shared, etc. Ugh.
Although we've routinely told him the iPad is for school only, and is provided by them for this and this alone, we're constantly fighting with him to use his own for personal use.
As such, we monitor what he does on this tablet (as well as his personal one, of course, but mainly the school-provided one). He knows we monitor it. We, as well as the school, have warned him and all students about inappropriate usage of the internet, tablets and cell phones especially in regards to... personal photos.
So I was going through his iPad today, and saw several photos that I would very much like to unsee. There were a number of pictures that he and a 15 year old girl were sending back and forth recently. Although I knew darn well that at some point through our monitoring of his internet and tablet activities we'd likely see something like this, I was still in shock. The photos he sent did not include his face (so at least there's that), however the photos from the girl did.
My wife and I have tried to imprint upon him that these things don't disappear. And they were sent from, and stored on, a school-owned device, to boot.
So. I feel some sort of obligation to contact this girls parents and let them know what their daughter has been sending to my son, and vice versa. However, I am not sure this is the right move. I'm a man and in my late 30's, and I have now unfortunately seen photos of somebody's 15 year old daughter, which is... awkward. My wife would be better suited for this, as I imagine the embarrassment factor would be lessened by her being a woman. However she can not bring herself to do this. We do not know this girl, nor her parents, but they apparently go to the same school, and I imagine they wouldn't be hard to find.
What would you do? Leave it alone, or contact her parents? I feel like it's the right thing to do, but I also would feel like I'm overstepping my boundaries. I also have to consider my stepson in this as well, not just for any repercussions at school, but, as I said, we do not know this girls parents. He is just as culpable in this is as she is. The last thing we'd want is for her to have an older brother who might beat him up or something. Or her dad...
I'm telling you, parenting in this day and age is NOT the same as when I was 14. The worst thing your parents ever saw was if they walked in on you while you were busy. Some embarrassment for a little while, and it went away. Seeing pictures or video is scarring to parents. And that type of thing stays out there, can be shared, etc. Ugh.
Put the internet to work for you.
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