This is my first post here although I've been visiting this sight for about 6 months now. I am at about 20 months past DD (2nd time). There is some great information and perspectives here. The thread that has resonated with me the most is the one below. In particular the ones talking about triggers and remorse.
As soon as I read section about 6 months ago this I showed it to my WW. I thought what better way to give her some perspective from others views about triggers and remorse. This resonated with me so much in particular the point in the remorse section about..."Actively works to understand why he or she made the choice to have an affair and shares insights with BS" that I explained to my wife it was very important she give this some thought and we talk about it.
About 3 months ago I explained to my WW that I've not received any feedback on this from her and again re-iterated why it was important to me. Last night I experienced a trigger and well it's not gone well. As I've read in other threads, I've tried not to let it drag me to the past, but admittedly it did to some extent, but in moving past the past and moving to today that I did get stuck on the fact that now 3 months after bringing up the fact she's not spoken to me about it at all. When I brought this up she agreed she's not talked to me about this and when I asked her why she can't tell me.
I feel like I couldn't have made this any easier in terms of pointing her toward a step to help move us forward. But given there has been no discussion on the subject I can't help feel she is not remorseful. I have to believe that while maybe she doesn't have all the answers, 6 months is enough time to have some thoughts on the matter?
http://ift.tt/1ESR3wB
As soon as I read section about 6 months ago this I showed it to my WW. I thought what better way to give her some perspective from others views about triggers and remorse. This resonated with me so much in particular the point in the remorse section about..."Actively works to understand why he or she made the choice to have an affair and shares insights with BS" that I explained to my wife it was very important she give this some thought and we talk about it.
About 3 months ago I explained to my WW that I've not received any feedback on this from her and again re-iterated why it was important to me. Last night I experienced a trigger and well it's not gone well. As I've read in other threads, I've tried not to let it drag me to the past, but admittedly it did to some extent, but in moving past the past and moving to today that I did get stuck on the fact that now 3 months after bringing up the fact she's not spoken to me about it at all. When I brought this up she agreed she's not talked to me about this and when I asked her why she can't tell me.
I feel like I couldn't have made this any easier in terms of pointing her toward a step to help move us forward. But given there has been no discussion on the subject I can't help feel she is not remorseful. I have to believe that while maybe she doesn't have all the answers, 6 months is enough time to have some thoughts on the matter?
http://ift.tt/1ESR3wB
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