I'm a 21 year and have only just recently lost my virginity. The reason being i've always been extremely insecure about my size. It's only just over 5 inches thick and misses the 5 inch mark in length. I learned to think of myself as only half a man because of this.
If I may say, i'm actually very handsome facially and enjoy working. I have gotten lots of female attention over the years and everyone always goes on about me having a baby face blah blah blah and the attention drove me crazy but I never pursued because I thought 'what's the point?' I even took up smoking as a punishment for my body for having a small dick.
Somehow i've managed to get a girlfriend, and it wasn't supposed to happen but obviously she must have seen something in me through the misery that she must have liked. This was about 3 months ago. And we officially started dating over two months ago. It had changed my outlook on life completely and i've managed to overcome depression and get back into swimming that I used to do competitively as a kid and throughly enjoyed and even thought of giving up smoking.
Thing is I have never told her that i've never had a gf before and am a virgin because I don't want her to think i'm a loser or am weird. I just say i don't like talking about my ex.
Just over two weeks ago I had my first sexual encounter and i couldn't even make her cum, better than I thought it would be but a bit rushed but she felt loose in missionary and I didn't enjoy it either but merely loved being with her and thankful she took pity on me so that the sex was irrelevant to me
However just yesterday, we had our first 'proper' session, i was laying on my back and she was giving me a blowjob then out of nowhere she said under her breath as if meaning to say to herself - 'it's so cute'. My heart sunk and she felt me tense and looked up and said 'no i mean it's cute but so are you' i played along but inside I was distraught.
She could tell earlier today that I was a little bit upset and asked why, I said i don't think shes enjoying the sex, why is that? She said she is, but we just haven't found the rhythm yet. I said is it because i'm smaller than her ex (she looked taken aback and said he was 'a bit' bigger but that doesn't mean he was good). I said i asked because i'm just curious. Not insecure.
But really I think we all know what she meant by cute and why she wasn't enjoying the sex and why she was surprised i asked about her ex. Should I just let this nice girl go so she can find herself a real man and accept my fate that I never can be and just kill myself?
Put the internet to work for you.
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