I just have to share some good news and perhaps give some hope to some folks that might be in the same situation. Before I share the great news, a little "background" for anyone not completely familiar with my sordid background...
Several years ago my wife came to me to tell me she has completely lost her desire to have sex. She was post menopausal. I took it personally. I interpreted it as a message of "I am no longer attracted to you anymore.". As a result, I lost a lot of weight, packed on a lot of muscle, started running half marathons...to no avail. She still wasn't interested in sex. We were having sex at most once per month.
To compound the problem, I began attracting the attention of other women. Some were very overt about expressing their "interest" in me. I succumbed and got involved in some EAs...they never went PA, but they were affairs nonetheless and a betrayal to my wife. This culminated in D-Day on 12/19/14. I didn't deny them when she asked.
Anyway, she made the decision to stay and reconcile. Additionally, she sought out a BHRT clinic to see if there was anything out of whack with her hormones. Everything was low/zero///progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone...all pretty much nonexistent. So she begins a BHRT regimen beginning about 2 weeks or so ago.
Last week alone we had sex 3 times. This last Saturday I had to run to the local Lowes for some material for a project I'm working on. anyway, I walk into the kitchen to tell her that I'll be back shortly. I kiss her, hug, start feeling amorous...so we kiss some more, I begin feeling her up. she's grinning, I'm getting aroused...So I break away, shake the lust out of my head and tell her that I'll be back soon. This is where my jaw dropped...
She turns to me and says..."Oh, be that way! Get me all hot and bothered and then just run off, eh?" LOL!
I haven't heard her say something like that in years! And then today I come home for lunch and we have a little "nooner" over lunch!!!!
I have my gorgeous wife back! And...when we have sex, she is experiencing some pretty mind blowing orgasms again! Just like old times. :)
Some of you may find this hard to believe, but in some, weirdly twisted way, the affairs I had may have actually brought the two of us closer together now and we are rediscovering how much we love and care for each other. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I don't know how else to describe it.
I'm going to close with this...
When I first wrote my story, I had more than one poster tell me that my wife just wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was told that I needed to become an "alpha". I was told I needed to follow the "Church of Athol Kay". I was told that if she didn't come around, then by following the MMSL philosophy my "next" partner will be more "forthcoming".
I immediately discounted all this regurgitated fodder because I don't think there is a "one size fits all" solution to all HD/LD relationships and also because I didn't need to get another partner (I have no problem attracting a woman whatsoever), and I certainly didn't need to get any more "alpha".
My wife was being truthful. She had lost her libido...period. We solved that problem and are doing well. She's working on her hormones, I am working on my personality disorder through group and individual therapy...and we're having some beautiful, intense, great sex again.
I was stupid for not believing her initially and straying. I'll never forgot what I've done to her, but I can work on us going forward...and that road looks very bright at the moment.
I guess what I'm saying is that if a partner tells you that they're not interested in sex anymore...they just might be telling you the truth and maybe go see a doctor first before jumping to conclusions like I did and then go do something stupid.
Take care everyone and thanks for reading. :)
Namaste
Several years ago my wife came to me to tell me she has completely lost her desire to have sex. She was post menopausal. I took it personally. I interpreted it as a message of "I am no longer attracted to you anymore.". As a result, I lost a lot of weight, packed on a lot of muscle, started running half marathons...to no avail. She still wasn't interested in sex. We were having sex at most once per month.
To compound the problem, I began attracting the attention of other women. Some were very overt about expressing their "interest" in me. I succumbed and got involved in some EAs...they never went PA, but they were affairs nonetheless and a betrayal to my wife. This culminated in D-Day on 12/19/14. I didn't deny them when she asked.
Anyway, she made the decision to stay and reconcile. Additionally, she sought out a BHRT clinic to see if there was anything out of whack with her hormones. Everything was low/zero///progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone...all pretty much nonexistent. So she begins a BHRT regimen beginning about 2 weeks or so ago.
Last week alone we had sex 3 times. This last Saturday I had to run to the local Lowes for some material for a project I'm working on. anyway, I walk into the kitchen to tell her that I'll be back shortly. I kiss her, hug, start feeling amorous...so we kiss some more, I begin feeling her up. she's grinning, I'm getting aroused...So I break away, shake the lust out of my head and tell her that I'll be back soon. This is where my jaw dropped...
She turns to me and says..."Oh, be that way! Get me all hot and bothered and then just run off, eh?" LOL!
I haven't heard her say something like that in years! And then today I come home for lunch and we have a little "nooner" over lunch!!!!
I have my gorgeous wife back! And...when we have sex, she is experiencing some pretty mind blowing orgasms again! Just like old times. :)
Some of you may find this hard to believe, but in some, weirdly twisted way, the affairs I had may have actually brought the two of us closer together now and we are rediscovering how much we love and care for each other. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I don't know how else to describe it.
I'm going to close with this...
When I first wrote my story, I had more than one poster tell me that my wife just wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was told that I needed to become an "alpha". I was told I needed to follow the "Church of Athol Kay". I was told that if she didn't come around, then by following the MMSL philosophy my "next" partner will be more "forthcoming".
I immediately discounted all this regurgitated fodder because I don't think there is a "one size fits all" solution to all HD/LD relationships and also because I didn't need to get another partner (I have no problem attracting a woman whatsoever), and I certainly didn't need to get any more "alpha".
My wife was being truthful. She had lost her libido...period. We solved that problem and are doing well. She's working on her hormones, I am working on my personality disorder through group and individual therapy...and we're having some beautiful, intense, great sex again.
I was stupid for not believing her initially and straying. I'll never forgot what I've done to her, but I can work on us going forward...and that road looks very bright at the moment.
I guess what I'm saying is that if a partner tells you that they're not interested in sex anymore...they just might be telling you the truth and maybe go see a doctor first before jumping to conclusions like I did and then go do something stupid.
Take care everyone and thanks for reading. :)
Namaste
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