Did you "settle" on a R because no matter who you are married to, you would always be looking for the stab in the back? This also includes a different spouse in the future. Shrinks and counselors do not help either. Those experts came to the conclusion that is what I have turned into. They said its permanent damage and some people end up that way. They get ruined. It's no different than a soldier coming home and he is consistently looking for snipers.
Put the internet to work for you.
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