We got married really young and didn't really know each other well enough. I wanted to please my new husband so I changed or distanced myself from everything he didn't like. He didn't like my friends, my family, or my job. He didn't like my clothes, make-up, jewelry, or cooking. He even didn't like how I was in bed, or what I liked to do for fun, the TV shows I watched, or my religion.
I changed everything about myself. Gave up my hopes and dreams to align them with his, and became a world class actress within my own home, pretending to like what was happening.
Then I became depressed. I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed, after all, I had a "perfect" life. Nice house, paid off early, 2 kids, plenty of money, but I was totally miserable.
When I woke up and started being me again and stopped acting so much, he was NOT happy. Now we fight constantly and he wants me to go back to the way I was, but I just can't be that silly girl any more.
I know I have changed the rules and I don't blame him for being unhappy, but it seems like there is no way for both of us to be happy, one or the other has to be miserable. We have tried counseling, but it doesn't seem to be helping at all, we just fight about the counseling sessions. I don't want the marriage to end, but it seems like there is nothing in my future but perpetual misery. He blames me for all our problems and says he has nothing to change and I just need to get my head screwed back on straight.
Our kids are young and a divorce would definitely mean less opportunities for them, but living with parents that hate each other can't be good either. My husband says he loves me one day and hates me the next. I'm so confused. One moment I feel like it will all be okay and then the next moment I feel like the blinders have been ripped off and I'm staring into the abyss.
I changed everything about myself. Gave up my hopes and dreams to align them with his, and became a world class actress within my own home, pretending to like what was happening.
Then I became depressed. I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed, after all, I had a "perfect" life. Nice house, paid off early, 2 kids, plenty of money, but I was totally miserable.
When I woke up and started being me again and stopped acting so much, he was NOT happy. Now we fight constantly and he wants me to go back to the way I was, but I just can't be that silly girl any more.
I know I have changed the rules and I don't blame him for being unhappy, but it seems like there is no way for both of us to be happy, one or the other has to be miserable. We have tried counseling, but it doesn't seem to be helping at all, we just fight about the counseling sessions. I don't want the marriage to end, but it seems like there is nothing in my future but perpetual misery. He blames me for all our problems and says he has nothing to change and I just need to get my head screwed back on straight.
Our kids are young and a divorce would definitely mean less opportunities for them, but living with parents that hate each other can't be good either. My husband says he loves me one day and hates me the next. I'm so confused. One moment I feel like it will all be okay and then the next moment I feel like the blinders have been ripped off and I'm staring into the abyss.
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