Some background:
Been going with my brother to this big 3 day rock festival for almost 10 years now. Met my wife a few years in, had an immediate family (kids from her previous marriage) - been married and a family for 5 years now (also a kid of our own).
One year I ran into a girl (at that concert) that I knew from my old job/kinda had a thing for. I told my wife. Absolutely nothing happened; we ran into each other, talked a minute, and parted ways. And I honestly tell my wife everything.
She was upset and could admit that she was probably wrong, but was having thoughts (her previous husband had cheated on her) that I planned to meet up with this girl or something.
Next year I actually ran into her again, although this time I hung around her and her friends for a little while (she had a group of people - some of which I knew). I was separated from my brother, probably very drunk, and felt like hanging around some people that I knew as opposed to wondering around alone.
And I told my wife again. Everything.
She was even more upset at this point.
Either that year or the year after - I had made the impression that I was going to stop going. Truth be told I believe I said something like "I get too drunk, am getting older, not having as much fun, and so many bands keep coming back so I have seen everyone; Unless the lineup is like CRAZY good - I don't intend on going". Well the next year was good enough for me to want to go again. I have however stopped getting AS drunk there and have tried to control myself more.
WELL - every year this is a big deal. She supposedly doesn't want to fight anymore, says I am just so selfish and that its no use fighting because I'll never choose her. I feel like I shouldn't be put in the position to HAVE to choose her...
THIS year I have done what is the worst thing I have ever done so far - went to a strip club in Mexico with some coercing from important people in my job. Went there, already drunk, high-up guy egging me on - bringing girls over. I have a girl on my lap, giving what I would say is more of a "private room" kind of experience in the US. Touching was OK, she put my hands on her - not totally naked, bottoms on. Basically I had her on me for the while; while my work associate was having girls and passed out.
Did I touch her breasts? yes.
Was she basically naked grinding on me? yes.
Did I have sex with her (with her basically begging me for it?)? NO.
For some reason sex was my only line to not cross (or any type of sexual fullfillment).
Once again - I told my wife everything.
She feels VERY betrayed.
In her mind I cheated on her.
No matter how much I try - I can't quite bring it to my mind that I was actually cheating - I was however doing something VERY wrong.
She thinks I don't love her, we have some sexual problems (previous ones from my past - not brought on by her). She doesn't trust me, she hates this concert thing, and to her - i cheated on her this year.
Oh yeah - we have 2 kids from her previous and 1 from us. I love them ALL with all of my heart.
PHEW! that was a lot of background.
So concert time is back up again. Again my brother is flying in from across the country, again we have tickets, and again i am facing this choice:
My wife or the last part of "me" that I feel remains.
This year she is giving me an ultimatum.
She wants me to stay at my parents with my brother for the weekend, and to not have any contact with her or my kids.
My kids have soccer "championships" on the sunday. I am planning on missing however many bands it takes to attend their soccer. But this isn't good enough to her at all.
She is saying I don't deserve her or my family.
I don't know what to do.
I love my wife and my family so much.
But for some reason I feel like I just shouldn't let her take this from me. I feel like its the last part of "me" before them. Most of my friends are gone. My family is my world. And I love them so much. But I do look forward to this time every year so much. She knows I do, and I just don't know what to do.
Been going with my brother to this big 3 day rock festival for almost 10 years now. Met my wife a few years in, had an immediate family (kids from her previous marriage) - been married and a family for 5 years now (also a kid of our own).
One year I ran into a girl (at that concert) that I knew from my old job/kinda had a thing for. I told my wife. Absolutely nothing happened; we ran into each other, talked a minute, and parted ways. And I honestly tell my wife everything.
She was upset and could admit that she was probably wrong, but was having thoughts (her previous husband had cheated on her) that I planned to meet up with this girl or something.
Next year I actually ran into her again, although this time I hung around her and her friends for a little while (she had a group of people - some of which I knew). I was separated from my brother, probably very drunk, and felt like hanging around some people that I knew as opposed to wondering around alone.
And I told my wife again. Everything.
She was even more upset at this point.
Either that year or the year after - I had made the impression that I was going to stop going. Truth be told I believe I said something like "I get too drunk, am getting older, not having as much fun, and so many bands keep coming back so I have seen everyone; Unless the lineup is like CRAZY good - I don't intend on going". Well the next year was good enough for me to want to go again. I have however stopped getting AS drunk there and have tried to control myself more.
WELL - every year this is a big deal. She supposedly doesn't want to fight anymore, says I am just so selfish and that its no use fighting because I'll never choose her. I feel like I shouldn't be put in the position to HAVE to choose her...
THIS year I have done what is the worst thing I have ever done so far - went to a strip club in Mexico with some coercing from important people in my job. Went there, already drunk, high-up guy egging me on - bringing girls over. I have a girl on my lap, giving what I would say is more of a "private room" kind of experience in the US. Touching was OK, she put my hands on her - not totally naked, bottoms on. Basically I had her on me for the while; while my work associate was having girls and passed out.
Did I touch her breasts? yes.
Was she basically naked grinding on me? yes.
Did I have sex with her (with her basically begging me for it?)? NO.
For some reason sex was my only line to not cross (or any type of sexual fullfillment).
Once again - I told my wife everything.
She feels VERY betrayed.
In her mind I cheated on her.
No matter how much I try - I can't quite bring it to my mind that I was actually cheating - I was however doing something VERY wrong.
She thinks I don't love her, we have some sexual problems (previous ones from my past - not brought on by her). She doesn't trust me, she hates this concert thing, and to her - i cheated on her this year.
Oh yeah - we have 2 kids from her previous and 1 from us. I love them ALL with all of my heart.
PHEW! that was a lot of background.
So concert time is back up again. Again my brother is flying in from across the country, again we have tickets, and again i am facing this choice:
My wife or the last part of "me" that I feel remains.
This year she is giving me an ultimatum.
She wants me to stay at my parents with my brother for the weekend, and to not have any contact with her or my kids.
My kids have soccer "championships" on the sunday. I am planning on missing however many bands it takes to attend their soccer. But this isn't good enough to her at all.
She is saying I don't deserve her or my family.
I don't know what to do.
I love my wife and my family so much.
But for some reason I feel like I just shouldn't let her take this from me. I feel like its the last part of "me" before them. Most of my friends are gone. My family is my world. And I love them so much. But I do look forward to this time every year so much. She knows I do, and I just don't know what to do.
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