We've been married for 18 years.. 4 kids from the ages of 16 to 8, 8 years into the marriage he had a one night stand with a woman he met online.. he continues online relationships for several years resulting in me shutting down and being cold towards him.. I know of at least two other women he met and tried to have sex with but wasn't able to pull it off...
He started painting women full time about 7 years ago, mostly nude women, more times than I can count I would find condoms in is wallet, car, studio. when confronted He would first say that it was a hair brained idea and he never slept with any of them.. and then it was my fault because I was cold towards him and he just wanted to be loved..I would try and be that best wife.. no nagging or *****ing, anything he asked for I would try my best to do so.. a year ago he was in an accident that caused him to be unable to drive for several months.. I would take him to work, dr visits twice a week and took in all of his responsibility around the house and bills.
The last weekend of december I found out that he had been having a affair, it stopped while I was being his nurse and then picked up again over the summer.. He said he ended it, but only after I found out.. he would be texting her how much he missed cuddling with her while I was sitting next to him on the couch trying to get him to talk to me..
When I first learned of the A. that's when the lies started, he said it was only once.. it turned out to be so many times he lost count, was there oral? no.. that was a lie, when I ask him how, when or why I get attacked and belittled.. he wanted me to fess up to all the bad things I have done in our marriage if he had to do the same.. he is convinced I have slept around on him, ( I have never ) he says he wants to fix our marriage and thinks because we don't go out on dates all the time this is why everything is upside down. He says that it is unfair that I am asking Q, and that he has gotten over it and doesn't want to relive any more. I don't know if I can believe that? my thoughts are he would have still been trying to screw her if I hadn't been that lowlife and looked in his phone.
I don't believe in divorce, but I'm having a hard time with the thought of having to live with distrust and anger for another 18 years..
So how do I get over this? what have been the ways that has been helpful for you to move on?
Right now I'm at that stage of wanting to kick his teeth in..
He started painting women full time about 7 years ago, mostly nude women, more times than I can count I would find condoms in is wallet, car, studio. when confronted He would first say that it was a hair brained idea and he never slept with any of them.. and then it was my fault because I was cold towards him and he just wanted to be loved..I would try and be that best wife.. no nagging or *****ing, anything he asked for I would try my best to do so.. a year ago he was in an accident that caused him to be unable to drive for several months.. I would take him to work, dr visits twice a week and took in all of his responsibility around the house and bills.
The last weekend of december I found out that he had been having a affair, it stopped while I was being his nurse and then picked up again over the summer.. He said he ended it, but only after I found out.. he would be texting her how much he missed cuddling with her while I was sitting next to him on the couch trying to get him to talk to me..
When I first learned of the A. that's when the lies started, he said it was only once.. it turned out to be so many times he lost count, was there oral? no.. that was a lie, when I ask him how, when or why I get attacked and belittled.. he wanted me to fess up to all the bad things I have done in our marriage if he had to do the same.. he is convinced I have slept around on him, ( I have never ) he says he wants to fix our marriage and thinks because we don't go out on dates all the time this is why everything is upside down. He says that it is unfair that I am asking Q, and that he has gotten over it and doesn't want to relive any more. I don't know if I can believe that? my thoughts are he would have still been trying to screw her if I hadn't been that lowlife and looked in his phone.
I don't believe in divorce, but I'm having a hard time with the thought of having to live with distrust and anger for another 18 years..
So how do I get over this? what have been the ways that has been helpful for you to move on?
Right now I'm at that stage of wanting to kick his teeth in..
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