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I dated my husband's brother when I was in high school for 1.5 years. Volatile relationship on both parts, I ended it when I graduated high school, I was 18. I stayed friends with his brother, my now husband. We had started dating when I was 22. Been married for almost 4 years now, I am now 26. His brother flipped out when he found out about our relationship even though it had been 4 years since our breakup. He didn't talk to us for almost a year until one day he said he wanted to just act like nothing happened and started seeing us again. Suddenly, about a year after that, he said he couldn't see us anymore cause it was too hard and feelings were still there. I asked my husband to put his foot down and confront his brother about letting it go but his brother refused and got in an argument with my husband, they stopped talking for several months, until recently.
Now:
My husband went to "talk" with his brother about a month ago. I was under the impression that my husband was going there to make sure that his brother was going to stop with the drama and make peace with the past. Ends up they mostly talked about his brother's problems with his girlfriend at the time.
His brother then invited himself over to give his condolences for the passing of my grandfather and to hang out with us. And my husband okayed that without even running it by me first. (We still live with my father, my mom got very ill and passed away two years ago). So I told him this, "I don't feel comfortable with your brother coming back into this house, into my life or my family's life until he's let this go. I'm sick of his drama and I don't want to be around it anymore." My husband said, "If you want to say something to him, go right ahead." And so I said, "I really don't feel like it's my responsibility to say something, he's YOUR brother. I also don't think that's a conversation I should be having with him alone. I think you two need to figure it out. I'm more than happy to sit in on the conversation but that's only if you want." If my husband wants to deal with his drama, he can go right ahead and have a relationship with his brother without me. I don't think that's great, but I'm kind of at the point of feeling like I have to protect myself if my husband isn't going to put his foot down. So, am I wrong for saying what I said? How would you handle it? Thank you for your time.
I dated my husband's brother when I was in high school for 1.5 years. Volatile relationship on both parts, I ended it when I graduated high school, I was 18. I stayed friends with his brother, my now husband. We had started dating when I was 22. Been married for almost 4 years now, I am now 26. His brother flipped out when he found out about our relationship even though it had been 4 years since our breakup. He didn't talk to us for almost a year until one day he said he wanted to just act like nothing happened and started seeing us again. Suddenly, about a year after that, he said he couldn't see us anymore cause it was too hard and feelings were still there. I asked my husband to put his foot down and confront his brother about letting it go but his brother refused and got in an argument with my husband, they stopped talking for several months, until recently.
Now:
My husband went to "talk" with his brother about a month ago. I was under the impression that my husband was going there to make sure that his brother was going to stop with the drama and make peace with the past. Ends up they mostly talked about his brother's problems with his girlfriend at the time.
His brother then invited himself over to give his condolences for the passing of my grandfather and to hang out with us. And my husband okayed that without even running it by me first. (We still live with my father, my mom got very ill and passed away two years ago). So I told him this, "I don't feel comfortable with your brother coming back into this house, into my life or my family's life until he's let this go. I'm sick of his drama and I don't want to be around it anymore." My husband said, "If you want to say something to him, go right ahead." And so I said, "I really don't feel like it's my responsibility to say something, he's YOUR brother. I also don't think that's a conversation I should be having with him alone. I think you two need to figure it out. I'm more than happy to sit in on the conversation but that's only if you want." If my husband wants to deal with his drama, he can go right ahead and have a relationship with his brother without me. I don't think that's great, but I'm kind of at the point of feeling like I have to protect myself if my husband isn't going to put his foot down. So, am I wrong for saying what I said? How would you handle it? Thank you for your time.
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