My H had an EA just over two years ago. It lasted a couple of months. We reconciled but there was no heavy lifting on his part. I guess you can call it rug-sweeping. I have had a bitterness in my heart this whole time.
Separately, my H, a lawyer, worked closely with another female lawyer, now a local judge (btw, she is married). There was never a full blown EA with this judge, but certainly a flirtation between my H and her. I observed it myself, and he knew I was not happy with him hanging around her. He accused me of being too sensitive, and in not so many words told me it was good for his career to maintain contact with this judge. However, given his history of letting flirtation go too far (hence the EA two years ago, with a woman who was also a lawyer), I still am not comfortable if he sees this judge woman.
Last week, I saw on his phone that he had emailed the judge woman and wanted to get together for lunch. That lunch is today. He never told me about it, but he knows I have access to his phone and can read his emails. Last night, he kept asking me if something was wrong (I must have looked tense), and he kept giving me a knowing look, waiting for me to admit I had looked at his phone. I said no, nothing's wrong.
I don't want him to accuse me of trying to hurt his career by somehow forbidding him to have lunch with the judge. The truth is, the judge never did anything wrong, unlike the EA partner from two years ago, unless you count flirting back with my husband. One time in an email she had said to him "I hope a ****tail together is in our near future!" This was more than a year ago though. The emails surrounding the lunch today were a bit more straightforward and less flirty.
Am I wrong, too sensitive, or too oppressive to not want him to have lunch with someone he has had a mutual flirtation with? Especially given his history of having a full blown EA that he almost left me over?
Separately, my H, a lawyer, worked closely with another female lawyer, now a local judge (btw, she is married). There was never a full blown EA with this judge, but certainly a flirtation between my H and her. I observed it myself, and he knew I was not happy with him hanging around her. He accused me of being too sensitive, and in not so many words told me it was good for his career to maintain contact with this judge. However, given his history of letting flirtation go too far (hence the EA two years ago, with a woman who was also a lawyer), I still am not comfortable if he sees this judge woman.
Last week, I saw on his phone that he had emailed the judge woman and wanted to get together for lunch. That lunch is today. He never told me about it, but he knows I have access to his phone and can read his emails. Last night, he kept asking me if something was wrong (I must have looked tense), and he kept giving me a knowing look, waiting for me to admit I had looked at his phone. I said no, nothing's wrong.
I don't want him to accuse me of trying to hurt his career by somehow forbidding him to have lunch with the judge. The truth is, the judge never did anything wrong, unlike the EA partner from two years ago, unless you count flirting back with my husband. One time in an email she had said to him "I hope a ****tail together is in our near future!" This was more than a year ago though. The emails surrounding the lunch today were a bit more straightforward and less flirty.
Am I wrong, too sensitive, or too oppressive to not want him to have lunch with someone he has had a mutual flirtation with? Especially given his history of having a full blown EA that he almost left me over?
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