I would like advice from anyone who has been or is currently "in it for the long haul" so to speak.
I am a 27 year old female, living with my long-term boyfriend of 5 years, and I am considering proposing to him.
I have always been wary of marriage and frankly I've never seen the point of it. I don't need the government or the church to validate my relationship, I can be just as committed with or without a marriage license, and I would be deeply ashamed to ever rely on someone else's income to support me.
That said, I know that marriage is something my boyfriend eventually wants (although he has always been very understanding of my uncertainty). Motherhood is not a longterm goal for me, but we would make extremely compatible parents should we ever decide to start a family, and we recently made it through a very, VERY difficult 8-10 months both financially and emotionally that proved we are capable of dealing with the rough patches with dignity and respect and without lashing out or intentionally hurting each other.
We have lived together happily for 4 years and as such we have already worked out many of the kinks that newly-weds deal with.
The biggest reasons I have for wanting to propose are:
A) To support my boyfriends life-goal and affirm his desire to have an actual wedding
B) To do it in a memorable and inexpensive way (boyfriend is not a "planner" and I am)
The biggest reasons I have for not wanting to propose are:
A) My own psychological hang up that marriage is a form of subservience
B) The fact that weddings are almost prohibitively expensive even done "cheaply" and I would honestly rather spend the money on a great vacation for the two of us than get dressed up and feed all of our relatives for a day.
So that brings me to the point of this ridiculously long post: Can anyone give me one REALLY good PRACTICAL reason to get married?
Financially speaking, is it worth it just to file taxes together? We have no major assets to speak of but have already (legally) declared how our assets and intellectual property would be handled if we separate so I'm not looking for way to protect myself in a divorce situation.
I would just like to hear from people who have been with their partners for a long time... Did getting married change your relationship dynamic? Was it worth the expense? Do you regret it? Did it improve your life/relationship/finances in any tangible way?
Thanks for taking the time to read
I am a 27 year old female, living with my long-term boyfriend of 5 years, and I am considering proposing to him.
I have always been wary of marriage and frankly I've never seen the point of it. I don't need the government or the church to validate my relationship, I can be just as committed with or without a marriage license, and I would be deeply ashamed to ever rely on someone else's income to support me.
That said, I know that marriage is something my boyfriend eventually wants (although he has always been very understanding of my uncertainty). Motherhood is not a longterm goal for me, but we would make extremely compatible parents should we ever decide to start a family, and we recently made it through a very, VERY difficult 8-10 months both financially and emotionally that proved we are capable of dealing with the rough patches with dignity and respect and without lashing out or intentionally hurting each other.
We have lived together happily for 4 years and as such we have already worked out many of the kinks that newly-weds deal with.
The biggest reasons I have for wanting to propose are:
A) To support my boyfriends life-goal and affirm his desire to have an actual wedding
B) To do it in a memorable and inexpensive way (boyfriend is not a "planner" and I am)
The biggest reasons I have for not wanting to propose are:
A) My own psychological hang up that marriage is a form of subservience
B) The fact that weddings are almost prohibitively expensive even done "cheaply" and I would honestly rather spend the money on a great vacation for the two of us than get dressed up and feed all of our relatives for a day.
So that brings me to the point of this ridiculously long post: Can anyone give me one REALLY good PRACTICAL reason to get married?
Financially speaking, is it worth it just to file taxes together? We have no major assets to speak of but have already (legally) declared how our assets and intellectual property would be handled if we separate so I'm not looking for way to protect myself in a divorce situation.
I would just like to hear from people who have been with their partners for a long time... Did getting married change your relationship dynamic? Was it worth the expense? Do you regret it? Did it improve your life/relationship/finances in any tangible way?
Thanks for taking the time to read
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