Well, I did this to myself. My sister-n-law has been living with me and my husband for 18 months. I came to her "rescue" when her house was in foreclosure and she was out of work. The verbal deal was that she stay until she was on her feet. It took her 8 months to get a job and she works for a little over minimum wage for a temporary placement service. It is not livable wage. After I realized my mistake, I asked my husband to help me come up with a date for her to move out. The answer I got was "she's my sister". After a year, I had enough. I gave her a move out date of August 1. This gave her 5 months to save money and get a job that provided a livable wage. Also, her car has been broken down in my yard for almost a year. She and my husband have been sharing his car. She finally had someone come get it 3 weeks before the August 1 move out date. They still have it. Needless to say, the August 1 date came and went and she is still here. The person she was supposed to move in with did not return her phone calls. I changed the move-out date to December 1. She does not contribute financially and offers no help around the house. She has a degree but refuses to use it and hardly ever works a 40-hour week. I have been married for 22 years this week. I have recently realized that he has passive aggressive personality disorder. I have become use not being put first in his life. I am working to finish my degree so I can take care of myself. I am not perfect and realize that I trigger his behavior as I'm not passive. But, I have been trying to do better. He didn't back me with the August 1 date and I doubt he will the December 1 date. He has to be the good guy and I have to be the bad guy. Here is what I recently realized . . . if I hadn't moved her in, she probably would have helped herself by now. Any suggestions?
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