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How can I make sure my next time is good without actually doing it?

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As the title says. I want to make my next time good so the girl might actually be interested in making a relationship of it. I went years before and then I sucked when I eventually had it again. The girl didn't want to speak to me again and I know she was probably really shallow but I don't want a similar experience. How can I get good without actually doing it? Is it even possible. Or would there be a girl that understands and would actually like to pursue a sex life until I get better? Like I used to be alright

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