Well here I am finally. I have read 100's of stories and 1000's of comments in the last month. But I now would like to share my story and get some views / opinions from others.
I am 27(m), wife is 24(f). We got together pretty young, moved out together, had a baby and got married 2 years ago. So, have a 5 1/2 year old son, and lived together for 7 years.
During the time we have had different jobs, a few rocky times, arguements about nonsense, all the good stuff that comes with life. In the last 4 months we both started new jobs.
With my new job I was working some crappy hours, swing shift, and I was letting it affect my personal life (wife, son, family). Nothing abusive, just laziness and didn't want to do anything while home. Also I would say I'm a jealous person, and tried to limit who/what my wife did. That's a fault of mine that needs work.
Well 1 month ago my wife said she was sick of my crap, and moving her and our son to her moms house. Leaving me. (We rent). My first 3 days was wasted on begging, crying and all the wrong crap to do. I didn't believe she really was doing this.
4th day I looked at phone records, and found out that she started talking to a guy from her work 2 weeks previous to her move out. Called him, he said they were just friends, I threatened all that. Confronted her about it, said they are just friends and he's going through same thing. (Right).
So I kept reading, found the 180 and tried to implement it. Mainly to get her back. During the week while dropping off or picking up son, she came in crying, saying she's lost and sad. I fell for it, tried telling her we could work on it. We kissed(sexually) and hugged. Then she left, saying she would talk to me tomorrow. Turns out she went and hung out with OM. A few days later while son was at my parents for the night, I Got drunk and busted some stuff up at her parents house trying to get new "friend". He stayed inside wife's parents house, I left and ended up replacing broke stuff next day.
Retrying 180, went and payed lawyer. Got the paperwork to file. Hadn't talked to her much besides about son. She still denies everything about OM, saying she would never be with him blah blah. I see his car there all the time.
Last night she comes over to drop off some cloths for son, comes in and starts saying she doesn't think I should be divorcing so fast, that she is lost and doesn't know what to do, says she misses and cries everyday about me...So I tell her if she wants to start working on things, the first thing she has to do is stop talking to the OM. She said she doesn't want to lose her new friends when she's not sure if we would work out. I told her that's not good enough, that I won't be number 2, that I want someone who loves me as much as I love them, and that she clearly doesn't if she can't throw away someone she's known a couple months.
Now I'm writing this, she just called making more sad crap. I asked her what she did when she left. She said nothing, I told her I drove by and his car was there, and that in filing for divorce today. (Which I am, paperwork done). She tried saying he has no where to stay, I said I don't care, ended conversation.
Thank you to anybody that can read this whole thing, I know it's long. Any advice on whether it's worth saving? I know that I shouldn't, I just had always believed we would be together forever. Also, after reading stuff, I realized she had been telling me she was sick of my attitude, and that she wasn't happy. I ignored it because I didn't realize how big of a deal it was.
One more thing, my wife says OM is married but seperated, with a kid, and wife is pregnant. I can't figure out how to find who she is. Would love to contact.
Also if it wasn't clear, (writing this throughout my work day), I am not over her, I feel like I ran her off. I'm just lost. I'm doing the 180 again but then I think it has worked and ruin the progress
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I am 27(m), wife is 24(f). We got together pretty young, moved out together, had a baby and got married 2 years ago. So, have a 5 1/2 year old son, and lived together for 7 years.
During the time we have had different jobs, a few rocky times, arguements about nonsense, all the good stuff that comes with life. In the last 4 months we both started new jobs.
With my new job I was working some crappy hours, swing shift, and I was letting it affect my personal life (wife, son, family). Nothing abusive, just laziness and didn't want to do anything while home. Also I would say I'm a jealous person, and tried to limit who/what my wife did. That's a fault of mine that needs work.
Well 1 month ago my wife said she was sick of my crap, and moving her and our son to her moms house. Leaving me. (We rent). My first 3 days was wasted on begging, crying and all the wrong crap to do. I didn't believe she really was doing this.
4th day I looked at phone records, and found out that she started talking to a guy from her work 2 weeks previous to her move out. Called him, he said they were just friends, I threatened all that. Confronted her about it, said they are just friends and he's going through same thing. (Right).
So I kept reading, found the 180 and tried to implement it. Mainly to get her back. During the week while dropping off or picking up son, she came in crying, saying she's lost and sad. I fell for it, tried telling her we could work on it. We kissed(sexually) and hugged. Then she left, saying she would talk to me tomorrow. Turns out she went and hung out with OM. A few days later while son was at my parents for the night, I Got drunk and busted some stuff up at her parents house trying to get new "friend". He stayed inside wife's parents house, I left and ended up replacing broke stuff next day.
Retrying 180, went and payed lawyer. Got the paperwork to file. Hadn't talked to her much besides about son. She still denies everything about OM, saying she would never be with him blah blah. I see his car there all the time.
Last night she comes over to drop off some cloths for son, comes in and starts saying she doesn't think I should be divorcing so fast, that she is lost and doesn't know what to do, says she misses and cries everyday about me...So I tell her if she wants to start working on things, the first thing she has to do is stop talking to the OM. She said she doesn't want to lose her new friends when she's not sure if we would work out. I told her that's not good enough, that I won't be number 2, that I want someone who loves me as much as I love them, and that she clearly doesn't if she can't throw away someone she's known a couple months.
Now I'm writing this, she just called making more sad crap. I asked her what she did when she left. She said nothing, I told her I drove by and his car was there, and that in filing for divorce today. (Which I am, paperwork done). She tried saying he has no where to stay, I said I don't care, ended conversation.
Thank you to anybody that can read this whole thing, I know it's long. Any advice on whether it's worth saving? I know that I shouldn't, I just had always believed we would be together forever. Also, after reading stuff, I realized she had been telling me she was sick of my attitude, and that she wasn't happy. I ignored it because I didn't realize how big of a deal it was.
One more thing, my wife says OM is married but seperated, with a kid, and wife is pregnant. I can't figure out how to find who she is. Would love to contact.
Also if it wasn't clear, (writing this throughout my work day), I am not over her, I feel like I ran her off. I'm just lost. I'm doing the 180 again but then I think it has worked and ruin the progress
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