So maybe it's just me. That's why I'm posting. Looking for some perspective. I have a D17 at home on a 50/50 rotation between my house and her mother's. I also have a new wife of 2 years. 5 years together. Starting a year after divorce.
Daughter came home for our time this week and my wife mentioned she was in her room looking for something she needed after she looked through the rest of the house. Daughter had an issue with it. Understands nobody was "snooping" or meaning harm. But it's her space. Wife doesn't agree and feel she did nothing wrong.
She expected me to "back her up".
I guess this is where the problem comes in. I agreed with D. It's her space. That's the way things have been for a long time. By chance, this hasn't come up before. But figuring that for 12 years, that's how it was. Also for the year after the divorce and the 2 years leading up to my new wife being my new wife. So it's only natural I agree with my D and it looks like I'm "taking her side".
So, was I wrong? Should I suddenly change my stance? I mean, sure, go in there and get what you need when she isn't there. But don't advertise it at at least. Right? Just because we married, am I supposed to pull 180 on my view and unravel how I've raised my daughter?
*note - There's no reason to snoop her room. D hasn't been in trouble at school or anything to prompt the "parental eminent domain" attitude.
Daughter came home for our time this week and my wife mentioned she was in her room looking for something she needed after she looked through the rest of the house. Daughter had an issue with it. Understands nobody was "snooping" or meaning harm. But it's her space. Wife doesn't agree and feel she did nothing wrong.
She expected me to "back her up".
I guess this is where the problem comes in. I agreed with D. It's her space. That's the way things have been for a long time. By chance, this hasn't come up before. But figuring that for 12 years, that's how it was. Also for the year after the divorce and the 2 years leading up to my new wife being my new wife. So it's only natural I agree with my D and it looks like I'm "taking her side".
So, was I wrong? Should I suddenly change my stance? I mean, sure, go in there and get what you need when she isn't there. But don't advertise it at at least. Right? Just because we married, am I supposed to pull 180 on my view and unravel how I've raised my daughter?
*note - There's no reason to snoop her room. D hasn't been in trouble at school or anything to prompt the "parental eminent domain" attitude.
Put the internet to work for you.
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