How did you get through all the rough times? The times where you went to bed angry with each other, didn't speak much, and just went on your days waiting for the next day to come around? How did you get through the really hard years where you wondered "are we going to make it?" ??
I really want to hope that it's possible to have a successful and happy marriage for a long time. I know marriage isn't always happy and everyone has their ups and downs. I'm not saying my marriage is awful, but it could definitely use some work.
DH and I have been through more than what we think our peers have been. I'm still in my late 20's and he's in his early 30's. Between the two of us, we've been unemployed 3 times, found ourselves broke a few times, experienced health crises, had family interfere (and continue) in our lives, and receive a lot of criticism from family. Neither one of us is where we want to be career-wise. We've been married a few years and still have no children. I have a health issue that affects fertility. When I look around, I see my peers in what appear to be happy healthy marriages, a nice house, great careers, and their 2-3 kids. We don't have any of that and sometimes I wonder what we are doing wrong, and what is wrong with our marriage.
No one talks about the realities behind marriage much and how to deal with the difficult times. My peers pretend to never have arguments or conflicts and that they are happy all the time, so DH and I wonder if we're just terrible people. A lot of older people who've been married a long time keep mum as well, as if the secrets to a happy and successful marriage only belong to those part of an exclusive club. Even my mother has criticism and my parents didn't have a good marriage until fewer than 10 years ago but she has to say "your husband is lazy and blah blah." Then there's DH's family acting like I robbed him from them when he was the one who moved to where we live and we also get "why aren't you two just doing what we tell you to do and your life will be better."
I don't mean to whine, but I need to know that someone has been in my shoes before and they made it out okay. I'm just frustrated and often wish I could flash forward a few years from now and get through all the crap in life we're still going through. How did you do it?
I really want to hope that it's possible to have a successful and happy marriage for a long time. I know marriage isn't always happy and everyone has their ups and downs. I'm not saying my marriage is awful, but it could definitely use some work.
DH and I have been through more than what we think our peers have been. I'm still in my late 20's and he's in his early 30's. Between the two of us, we've been unemployed 3 times, found ourselves broke a few times, experienced health crises, had family interfere (and continue) in our lives, and receive a lot of criticism from family. Neither one of us is where we want to be career-wise. We've been married a few years and still have no children. I have a health issue that affects fertility. When I look around, I see my peers in what appear to be happy healthy marriages, a nice house, great careers, and their 2-3 kids. We don't have any of that and sometimes I wonder what we are doing wrong, and what is wrong with our marriage.
No one talks about the realities behind marriage much and how to deal with the difficult times. My peers pretend to never have arguments or conflicts and that they are happy all the time, so DH and I wonder if we're just terrible people. A lot of older people who've been married a long time keep mum as well, as if the secrets to a happy and successful marriage only belong to those part of an exclusive club. Even my mother has criticism and my parents didn't have a good marriage until fewer than 10 years ago but she has to say "your husband is lazy and blah blah." Then there's DH's family acting like I robbed him from them when he was the one who moved to where we live and we also get "why aren't you two just doing what we tell you to do and your life will be better."
I don't mean to whine, but I need to know that someone has been in my shoes before and they made it out okay. I'm just frustrated and often wish I could flash forward a few years from now and get through all the crap in life we're still going through. How did you do it?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment