My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and together for almost three. When we first got together the sex was amazing, passionate, and frequent. Almost daily, and then some. We both had a child that we brought to the relationship, and then we decided to get pregnant. Then, almost five months into the pregnancy, the sex started slowing down. Not drastically, just to maybe five nights instead of seven. Then when it went from four to three I brought it up to him. He said it was because he was afraid of hurting the baby. I thought that was a bs answer, because he is one of the more sexually educated men I know. But I let it go.
Fast forward to after our son gets here. Sex is now two nights a week or less. The excuse now? His back hurts. Suddenly, because of the same job he'd had the entire course of our relationship. For a while at this point it had been messing with my self confidence and had me questioning the whole situation. He said he loved me and was attracted to me and wanted me but couldn't physically have sex.
We married shortly after our son was born. That was in June of 2012. In January of 2013 his mother passed. As bad as I'm about to sound when I say this, that became his crutch. I understand that his loss was unimaginable and seeing as I've never suffered such a loss there was no way to know what he was dealing with. So I did what I could and tried to be understanding and be there for him. Months passed, and the sex morphed into near non existence. Once a week, then once every two weeks, and its now currently at once a month, and that's iffy. But as the months went on it started turning into him not being willing to help with the house, or the kids, and he started avoiding us and stayed until night at work. He would randomly blow up at me and just take what should have been a normal argument for a married couple and went to the extreme, screaming and swearing at me and calling me by his ex wives names and threatening divorce over small things. His constant argume nt was that I make him feel unappreciated, because he works and I'm m a SAHM. Never mind the spotless house and home made dinners and taking care of the kids and doing my best to make sure he didn't have to lift a finger. But then other times he brags to his friends about how good I take care of him and how special I make him feel. It's such a cluster and so up and down I never know what's going to happen from day to day.
Nowadays, I've went from feeling shame for asking for sex an being denied, to attempting to seduce him and being totally blown off. He likes to pretend he doesn't notice my advances. Currently, I'll try to flirt with him and be sexy, and he laughs at me like I'm a silly child or something. I just don't know. All I know is being laughed at for trying to be sexy when I lack self confidence anyway just breaks my heart that much more. I've never had thoughts about other men, although sometimes I'd like to, just so I would feel something besides loneliness. I don't think I'd have it in me to be unfaithful, because even after all this, I still love him and want this to work. I just don't know how much more I can take without completely losing my mind, or else losing all interest in my marriage.
I literally have nobody to talk to about this, and after reading some threads on here and seeing similar issues I felt encouraged to register on here and ask for advice and friendship. Can someone please shed some light on this situation for me and maybe offer some advice? And please feel free to be critical. If I'm doing something wrong that needs changing please voice your opinion.
Thanks.
Fast forward to after our son gets here. Sex is now two nights a week or less. The excuse now? His back hurts. Suddenly, because of the same job he'd had the entire course of our relationship. For a while at this point it had been messing with my self confidence and had me questioning the whole situation. He said he loved me and was attracted to me and wanted me but couldn't physically have sex.
We married shortly after our son was born. That was in June of 2012. In January of 2013 his mother passed. As bad as I'm about to sound when I say this, that became his crutch. I understand that his loss was unimaginable and seeing as I've never suffered such a loss there was no way to know what he was dealing with. So I did what I could and tried to be understanding and be there for him. Months passed, and the sex morphed into near non existence. Once a week, then once every two weeks, and its now currently at once a month, and that's iffy. But as the months went on it started turning into him not being willing to help with the house, or the kids, and he started avoiding us and stayed until night at work. He would randomly blow up at me and just take what should have been a normal argument for a married couple and went to the extreme, screaming and swearing at me and calling me by his ex wives names and threatening divorce over small things. His constant argume nt was that I make him feel unappreciated, because he works and I'm m a SAHM. Never mind the spotless house and home made dinners and taking care of the kids and doing my best to make sure he didn't have to lift a finger. But then other times he brags to his friends about how good I take care of him and how special I make him feel. It's such a cluster and so up and down I never know what's going to happen from day to day.
Nowadays, I've went from feeling shame for asking for sex an being denied, to attempting to seduce him and being totally blown off. He likes to pretend he doesn't notice my advances. Currently, I'll try to flirt with him and be sexy, and he laughs at me like I'm a silly child or something. I just don't know. All I know is being laughed at for trying to be sexy when I lack self confidence anyway just breaks my heart that much more. I've never had thoughts about other men, although sometimes I'd like to, just so I would feel something besides loneliness. I don't think I'd have it in me to be unfaithful, because even after all this, I still love him and want this to work. I just don't know how much more I can take without completely losing my mind, or else losing all interest in my marriage.
I literally have nobody to talk to about this, and after reading some threads on here and seeing similar issues I felt encouraged to register on here and ask for advice and friendship. Can someone please shed some light on this situation for me and maybe offer some advice? And please feel free to be critical. If I'm doing something wrong that needs changing please voice your opinion.
Thanks.
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