Im torn to pieces. My husband caught me going twenty miles outta my way to buy breakfast, totally forgot I was on a secret mission, so I had to confess... I went to consult with an attorney about divorce....
Please look at my other posts to get an idea of my crazy relationship....
At times I hate him, I'm passive aggressive, and he rug sweeps everything he does. I'm supposed to just go on as if everything is okay when he messes up....that is the basics of it all.... Yes he also had an EA two years ago, but the last two years weren't spent truly recovering....at this point I'm okay to just leave him and move on with my life, but I am truly afraid!
He cried (sorta) and begged me to think about what I was doing, all while blaming me for giving up and not loving him anymore...all of it is bs and also sums up the marriage...he never owns what he does... He only said I know I f*ck up but I love you and have always loved you and have always been there...blah blah blah...
I don't think reconciliation is an option for me anymore, I am truly tired and embarrassed of the joke we have become. BUT, AND IT IS A BIG BUT LOL. I do decided to work on it one last time, how would I even go about it?
IC, MC, FOLLOW MY RULES AND GO KINDA THING, OR WHAT?
Please advise. I'm working on the 180 which I have to admit is hard for me because I so depressed that I smell....hint hint, I don't even want to shower but I do cuz I have to... But I have been on the back burner for a long time and I am now trying really hard to lose weight, take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually....
I was in IC but in the first session she rubbed me the wrong way so I'm looking for another counselor....any recommendations would be greatly appreciated...
Please look at my other posts to get an idea of my crazy relationship....
At times I hate him, I'm passive aggressive, and he rug sweeps everything he does. I'm supposed to just go on as if everything is okay when he messes up....that is the basics of it all.... Yes he also had an EA two years ago, but the last two years weren't spent truly recovering....at this point I'm okay to just leave him and move on with my life, but I am truly afraid!
He cried (sorta) and begged me to think about what I was doing, all while blaming me for giving up and not loving him anymore...all of it is bs and also sums up the marriage...he never owns what he does... He only said I know I f*ck up but I love you and have always loved you and have always been there...blah blah blah...
I don't think reconciliation is an option for me anymore, I am truly tired and embarrassed of the joke we have become. BUT, AND IT IS A BIG BUT LOL. I do decided to work on it one last time, how would I even go about it?
IC, MC, FOLLOW MY RULES AND GO KINDA THING, OR WHAT?
Please advise. I'm working on the 180 which I have to admit is hard for me because I so depressed that I smell....hint hint, I don't even want to shower but I do cuz I have to... But I have been on the back burner for a long time and I am now trying really hard to lose weight, take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually....
I was in IC but in the first session she rubbed me the wrong way so I'm looking for another counselor....any recommendations would be greatly appreciated...
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