One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness and to forgive the unforgivable.
In your relationship forgiveness is another important element needed for a fruithful and a good relationship/marriage,so you see you need it in your relationship/marriage,when you are in a intimate relationship with your partner at that point you are vulnerable to your partner,anything your partner dose will affect you directly or indirectly,especially when they do the bad once to you it affect you the most and sometimes you find it hard to forgive and forget.
Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts,so you see you don't only need it for your relationship/marriage,but also you need it for health wise.
Relationship has stages and from what i study it has three stages and that is
1,The romance stage.
2,The trial stage.
3,The romance stage.
And if you look at this stages you will find out that romance came twice but not sequentially some other stage came between the two romance stage.
The first romance is when you both meet newly and things where moving fine,the chemistry was at it fullness.
The second stage is the trial stage at this stage many relationship breakup and things gose out of hand,due to this stage is full of hard work,some times disappointment sets in and also at this point your partner dose something that you think is unforgivable,but you don't know that it's at this stage that your relationship tends to mature,and be what it should be and this is were my topic on forgiveness comes to play,you will see that at this point your partner will do so many things that needs your forgiveness like if your partner disrespect you and so on,why won't you forgive your partner since him/her was the only person you choose to love and be with.
You maybe saying now that you always forgive your partner ,but your partner always keep on doing the same thing or order things as the case maybe,that you think or that your partner is taking your forgiveness for granted and that you wont for give him/her this time,but i tell you this keep on forgiving because when you do that you are freeing yourself and making your heart and mind to be clean before your partner;for yourself your partner may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life,but you deserve to be free of this evil.
And do you know that hate is like an acid,it damages the vessel in which it is stored,and destroys the vessel on which it is pured,so you see you have to and if that person has a sense of humour him/her will change for good,the reason is that your life is your massage to your partner and you inspired him/her by leaving a forgivable life and you will be amaze on how your partner changed you have been hurt and you always find away to forgive without any fight or misunderstanding that was why your partner changed,and also i think your partner has a conscience.
Here are some rules you have to follow or consider when forgiving your spouse -;
1,Realize the hate you feel towards your adversary dose not harm him/her in the way that you want.
2,Understand that the best revenge against your loved onces is to live a normal,successful and a happy life.
3,Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good,to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud.
4,Make a list of the good thing that emerged as a result of this awful experience.
5,Look for the helper In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and selflessness Practice what you have learned from them.
6,Be compassionate with yourself.
7,Learn that the Aramaic word for"forgive"means literally to"untie".
8,Learn how to trust with wisdom.
9,Stop telling"the story".
10,Tell"the story"from the other person's perspective.
11,Retrain your thinking. When your spouse and his or her hurting actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing. Wish your spouse well,remember that you still love them.
12,Maintain perspective.
You see that stage of trails have come and gone after you have forgiving your partner,and your relationship has reshape and has mature more than it were because you both have passed through the hard times and the trial period together.
And now the last stage comes to play and that is the second romance,(not that trials wont come again there will)but now you both are stronger emotional and now more mature for the relationship,and when the trials comes it wont be so painful as it were the previous stage because you have come to understand to bare forgiveness on your mind,so at this stage your ready to let go for the good moment to persevere.Relationship/marriage is a commitment. :)
In your relationship forgiveness is another important element needed for a fruithful and a good relationship/marriage,so you see you need it in your relationship/marriage,when you are in a intimate relationship with your partner at that point you are vulnerable to your partner,anything your partner dose will affect you directly or indirectly,especially when they do the bad once to you it affect you the most and sometimes you find it hard to forgive and forget.
Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts,so you see you don't only need it for your relationship/marriage,but also you need it for health wise.
Relationship has stages and from what i study it has three stages and that is
1,The romance stage.
2,The trial stage.
3,The romance stage.
And if you look at this stages you will find out that romance came twice but not sequentially some other stage came between the two romance stage.
The first romance is when you both meet newly and things where moving fine,the chemistry was at it fullness.
The second stage is the trial stage at this stage many relationship breakup and things gose out of hand,due to this stage is full of hard work,some times disappointment sets in and also at this point your partner dose something that you think is unforgivable,but you don't know that it's at this stage that your relationship tends to mature,and be what it should be and this is were my topic on forgiveness comes to play,you will see that at this point your partner will do so many things that needs your forgiveness like if your partner disrespect you and so on,why won't you forgive your partner since him/her was the only person you choose to love and be with.
You maybe saying now that you always forgive your partner ,but your partner always keep on doing the same thing or order things as the case maybe,that you think or that your partner is taking your forgiveness for granted and that you wont for give him/her this time,but i tell you this keep on forgiving because when you do that you are freeing yourself and making your heart and mind to be clean before your partner;for yourself your partner may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life,but you deserve to be free of this evil.
And do you know that hate is like an acid,it damages the vessel in which it is stored,and destroys the vessel on which it is pured,so you see you have to and if that person has a sense of humour him/her will change for good,the reason is that your life is your massage to your partner and you inspired him/her by leaving a forgivable life and you will be amaze on how your partner changed you have been hurt and you always find away to forgive without any fight or misunderstanding that was why your partner changed,and also i think your partner has a conscience.
Here are some rules you have to follow or consider when forgiving your spouse -;
1,Realize the hate you feel towards your adversary dose not harm him/her in the way that you want.
2,Understand that the best revenge against your loved onces is to live a normal,successful and a happy life.
3,Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good,to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud.
4,Make a list of the good thing that emerged as a result of this awful experience.
5,Look for the helper In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and selflessness Practice what you have learned from them.
6,Be compassionate with yourself.
7,Learn that the Aramaic word for"forgive"means literally to"untie".
8,Learn how to trust with wisdom.
9,Stop telling"the story".
10,Tell"the story"from the other person's perspective.
11,Retrain your thinking. When your spouse and his or her hurting actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing. Wish your spouse well,remember that you still love them.
12,Maintain perspective.
You see that stage of trails have come and gone after you have forgiving your partner,and your relationship has reshape and has mature more than it were because you both have passed through the hard times and the trial period together.
And now the last stage comes to play and that is the second romance,(not that trials wont come again there will)but now you both are stronger emotional and now more mature for the relationship,and when the trials comes it wont be so painful as it were the previous stage because you have come to understand to bare forgiveness on your mind,so at this stage your ready to let go for the good moment to persevere.Relationship/marriage is a commitment. :)
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