He's in the hospital recovering from an post-operative infection. I haven't visited him since Sunday. I'm not sure whether I should visit him, what do you think? He leaves the country on the 12th Jan.
**tl;dr**:
-- I [30/f]contacted my boyfriend's [31/m] ex [40/f] after he told me not to contact her.
-- She confirmed some negative aspects about him, but made excuses for enabling him (e.g., letting him live with her for 5 years without working and contributing to rent).
-- He has now told me that when he leaves hospital he will probably stay with her for a couple of months.
***Some background***:
-- He got with me and didn't tell me for a month he was still sleeping with her.
-- He has now told me that when he leaves hospital he will probably stay with her for a couple of months to recover.
-- I phoned her up to pass on this information myself. She replied to me: "A few months? maybe he was shooting off ideas. I haven't heard about that, we'll need to talk about that" NOTE: She didn't straight out say no... so she'll probably continue to enable him.
She told me that:
1) he's young and a man and will take a while to grow up (he's 31; she's 40)
2) He lives like he's in his 20s (he hasn't worked for 6 years and lived rent free with girlfriends over that time)
3) He uses sex to self-medicate himself
4) He is scared of living life
5) He never apologises
6) He is so frugal that if people didn't help him out he's probably waste away and die and that him being so cheap is a form of self-hatred.
7) Oh and she also told me no-one can help him, he will have to find life's answers himself.
What do you think he will say to me if he finds out I rang her?
**tl;dr**:
-- I [30/f]contacted my boyfriend's [31/m] ex [40/f] after he told me not to contact her.
-- She confirmed some negative aspects about him, but made excuses for enabling him (e.g., letting him live with her for 5 years without working and contributing to rent).
-- He has now told me that when he leaves hospital he will probably stay with her for a couple of months.
***Some background***:
-- He got with me and didn't tell me for a month he was still sleeping with her.
-- He has now told me that when he leaves hospital he will probably stay with her for a couple of months to recover.
-- I phoned her up to pass on this information myself. She replied to me: "A few months? maybe he was shooting off ideas. I haven't heard about that, we'll need to talk about that" NOTE: She didn't straight out say no... so she'll probably continue to enable him.
She told me that:
1) he's young and a man and will take a while to grow up (he's 31; she's 40)
2) He lives like he's in his 20s (he hasn't worked for 6 years and lived rent free with girlfriends over that time)
3) He uses sex to self-medicate himself
4) He is scared of living life
5) He never apologises
6) He is so frugal that if people didn't help him out he's probably waste away and die and that him being so cheap is a form of self-hatred.
7) Oh and she also told me no-one can help him, he will have to find life's answers himself.
What do you think he will say to me if he finds out I rang her?
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